Ming the Mechanic:
How to Tell If Someone is Lying to You

The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
 How to Tell If Someone is Lying to You2002-12-23 22:25
172 comments
by Flemming Funch

Posted by shelala on weeno.com, some points of good advice on spotting when a person is lying to you:

1. No eye contact. His eyes will look away. If the room has a means of egress - that's where they'll look.
2. Crossing of arms and/or legs (a protective instinct).
3. The pupils of the eyes will narrow. Lying is stressful.
4. Hands on the face, especially the mouth. They are "covering" the lie.
5. Talking fast. A liar wants to get it over with.
6. Sometimes the head will nod a "no" when answering a "yes" question or visa versa. This is a subconcious movement.
7. Mispronouncing the words or mumbling. A liar kinda thinks he is not lying when he pronounces words incorrectly or mumbles.
8. Overstated friendliness/laughing. He wants you to believe and he wants you to like him so you will believe him.
And I'd say those are correct. The way I see it, you'd be looking for whether there is congruency between what the words say and what the person's body says. The body is typically much more truthful than the words. None of those signs will say for sure, as there might be many other reasons for being nervous or not meaning what one says. And it only works on people who aren't trained in being good liars. Politicians being a good example. So, it works for O.J. Simpson, but not for George W. Bush.


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172 comments

30 Mar 2003 @ 13:48 by vibrani : Mixed messages
You can be misreading a person who is shy, or comes from another culture (and may not speak English very well) where it is not polite to look directly at a person (let alone into their eyes), or keep their head up, or not cover their mouth. Some people stutter or are nervous whenever they speak with people they don't know - or under any stress. This doesn't mean they are liars. Laughter or wanting belief or to be liked doesn't mean someone is lying, either, just insecure or needy. I see liars in the inconsistencies in their words and in the energy in their eyes and around them, whether or not they have large or small pupils. Large pupils come from interest in a topic, OR sensitivity to light, which can be a medical condition.  


31 Mar 2003 @ 06:34 by ming : Body language
Indeed, it is an over-simplification there. Many people do any of those for a varity of other reasons. So it is probably more useful relative to the usual behavior of that person.  


12 Sep 2003 @ 03:24 by Daniel @202.180.83.6 : Eye movement
Look out for eye movements. Generally, if people are thinking of visual information to answer a question, their eyes will move up: this is how they retrieve mental pictures. They do this unconsciously, but they will also tend to do it reliably. Once you know that, you can look for the instance when they don't look up in the same way, or when they look up but perhaps to the other side, or when they maintain eye contact with you when they would normally do otherwise.

This last is an interesting point. Most people imagine that we maintain eye contact when we tell the truth and break it when we lie. Not so. The majority of people will maintain eye contact when lying, because they don't need to retrieve information from their minds and, therefore, don't need to move their eyes. At another level, they are eager to appear sincere, and so consciously decide to keep looking at you.  



12 Sep 2003 @ 05:40 by ming : Eye Movement
Right. However, also some people do visual accessing by looking straight ahead, even though it is more common that they look up. And, if they look up, and we observe them a bit more thoroughly, there's more we can find out. Looking up to one side usually means that they're remembering a picture of something, and looking to the other side usually means they're making it up. Which side is what is consistant for that person, but not completely from person to person. So, if we know them well enough, it is of course very suspicous if they only look to the side that is for imagining things when we're asking for the truth about something. Anyway, this is stuff one can learn in a basic NLP course, which can be very useful for knowing what is going on for somebody.

A mostly visual person will normally want to have eye contact. He might quickly do those eye movements, in order to access stuff in his mind, but he'll come back to eye contact. Unless he's not comfortable with it at the moment, which might be a sign of lying.

But a mostly kineshetic (feeling) person will access his truth to a large degree while looking down, in order to feel things within himself. Which is certainly not a sign that they're lying. Rather, direct eye contact will tend to take them away from their true feelings. But visual people might think that their looking down means they're evading something, where the truth is the opposite.  



29 Sep 2003 @ 19:14 by Jeffrey Bell @138.88.253.159 : Tell if a person is lying
Ever meet a person with Tourette Syndrome? The bodies movement is not always telling the truth. Sometimes people can not contol their motor functions and still are telling the truth.  


30 Sep 2003 @ 13:31 by Lisa @205.188.209.11 : Thanks This Helped alot!!!!!!!!
Your tips about body language and lying were a riot and you really helped me with my problem thank you very much to whom it may concern.  


1 Oct 2003 @ 18:26 by chris @82.36.18.154 : Lying
everyone has their own baseline - pattern of behaviour, and basically if this person breaks their baseline their lying  


17 Oct 2003 @ 07:17 by Nikki @216.37.27.64 : Eye Contact
Eye contact has nothing to do with it. I can look you in the eye and lie. People know that excuse so people do look you in the eye regardless, if its a lie or the truth.  


17 Oct 2003 @ 10:25 by ming : Eye contact
It is not as simple as whether people have eye contact or not. Yes, you might lie while looking straight into somebody's eyes. For that matter, that might be a sign that you're not accessing a real experience in your mind. If somebody actually remembers something, their eyes will flicker around a little bit. And knowing what those small movements mean takes a bit more specialized knowledge and training. So, you actually need to know the person's normal pattern in order to see when they're violating it.  


30 Oct 2003 @ 05:44 by monica @211.26.122.45 : cheating
i think my bf has cheated on me i know all the facts and details and him and his friend deniy it. how can i tell if hes lying when im face to face wid him.?
tone of voice? body language? Eye contact?  



30 Oct 2003 @ 18:28 by Hoochie @68.21.161.204 : need more
Can you get an article about 10 ways
to tell when a person is lying by their
bodylanguage? Please!!  



19 Nov 2003 @ 15:19 by Pete @213.51.39.118 : Advanced
People lie every day of there live's, may be to them selfs or to others. The best way to find out if your being lyed too is by using your senses and focus on every thing that you are " feeling " at that point in time. I can see through liers like i can read a book and this you can not do over night. People often say that paranoia is a bad thing but unless you have some medical reason for feeling paranoid then your using your instinct. People who lie have become advanced in there ways of covering but not to me, because i just follow three simple things ( and i've never been wrong )...... Logic, Gut feeling and common sense. You have to see it like this, they are lying to you for a reason and that's where the logic part comes into play: ie Why are they lying to me ? there change in character ( even if it's small ) will give your gut feeling ( around your solar plexus ) that will make you feel suspicious and when we feel suspicious our common sense will provoke a normal level or amount of paranoia, that will with out a doubt give you the bigger picture. So my advice to you all is : forget about the physical aspect and concentrate on the senses. Like i said before, you can not do this over night but if you focus on these three points, you will learn how to get to the truth in time.
Good luck and i hope this helps.
Pete  



5 Dec 2003 @ 15:18 by j @65.65.221.131 : pete
pete, you should spend less time trying to figure out if someone is lying and more time learning to spell. Even if at the cost of your, I can't believe I'm saying this, solar plexus.  


12 Dec 2003 @ 15:27 by Nicole @207.157.145.18 : my friend
i think my friend has lied so much that i cant tell anymore whether or not she's telling the truth...the last HUGE lie she told me was that she bought me a ticket to a concert my parents wouldnt let me go to in the first place... as i think back to the day she did it...which was about 2 months ago, i remember what i said and what she said and i do think she was lying...the thing is, i believed her and the more and more i thought about it and asked around for other people's opinions, i felt mad and betrayed. Unfourtunately, i still talk to this person and i dont know why...she's a liar and i cant stand being lied to...when i was younger, i lied all the time because it was instinct to not get in trouble, you know?...but i grew out of the habit...she never will...  


14 Dec 2003 @ 15:06 by Vicente González @203.97.2.243 : Lying
I don't think spelling has anything to do with this discussion. Personally I agree with what Pete has said, even if his spelling is incorrect.

I cannot usually figure out if someone is lying in the way that Pete can, but I know that he is right. I can tell in this way, whether or not someone has good intentions or bad intentions. I can tell if someone wants to hurt me, or wants to "protect" me from the truth. Every day I am getting better at telling whether or not somebody is lying, but I have always been able to tell if somebody is a good person or a bad person. I have told many of my friends my pin number (for reasons such as - please go and withdraw some money for me because I am busy) and I have always been able to choose the correct people. Nobody has ever stolen money of me.

Sometimes my girlfriend has lied to me, but I have usually been able to find out. I have told her that I found out, always after the subject doesn't matter anymore so as not to embarrass her. In this way, she has found out that she doesn't need to lie to me because I am understanding and I won't be angry if she tells the truth even if it is a horrible truth. But I love her and she loves me and she hasn't lied for years, now we are engaged.

That's off topic so back to the lying. In recent years, I have become exceptionally good at telling if somebody is lying. I have found that for me the best way is to look inward rather than trying to interpret the actions of the other party. It is built into your natural body to tell if somebody is lying. Let your body work it out for you and read your body. This is where the 'gut feeling' part comes in.

Where this fails, you should always use logic, and where this fails, always apply the benifit of the doubt. Never accuse somebody of lying when you are not sure, because this IS a sure way to destroy relationships and blocks the process of getting them to learn that to tell you the truth is not only good for you, but good for them.

There are some people who are compulsive liars and you must use a different method to get them to tell the truth. For these people, you should show anger that they have lied, this can be done by inducing pain (never harm anybody - this is wrong). The pain induced could be physical or mental or emotional pain. All three of these hurt just as much as the other.

On the other hand, if these people tell you the truth, although it is most likely damaging to them, thank them for telling you the truth. This is in fact the most deep down part of the learning process: punishment and reward.  



14 Dec 2003 @ 15:12 by Vicente González @203.97.2.243 : Compulsive liars - continued
If you are a male, never use the induction of pain method on a female. As you should know, females are less resilient to pain than males, both emotionally and physical. This is a generalisation and does not apply to all females, and not all males are pain resilient. You may argue that males and females are 'equal' and there is no difference. But you cannot deny that females are usually much more understanding about somebody's problems than is a male. Pain induction should only be used when absolutely neccessary, and should never be applied more than neccessary. Often the threat of inducing pain will be enough to get somebody to tell the truth. Never go too far, and never use it incorrectly, I cannot stress this enough.  


15 Dec 2003 @ 11:17 by spiritseek : pain?
I see no reason to inflict any pain, this make the person less likely to open up and never speak to you again. Sometimes people want you to believe their lies so badly they say "trust me", I have never found this type of person to be honest. The gut feeling idea works best for me, and really listening to how the person is speaking, is it out of normal tone and spacing of words?, then it most likely is a lie. Everyone lies in different degrees or reasons, you may feel your protecting yourself or others by telling a small lie. We lie to ourselves every day, just by keeping our egos fed or protected out of fear of rejection for example.  


23 Dec 2003 @ 07:10 by John @152.163.252.5 : Well
Yes, people do look you in the eye and lie, but that is over petty things. When someone knows their in a great deal of trouble and that they are guilty they will have a tougher time hiding these signs due to aggitation or eagerness.  


26 Dec 2003 @ 02:35 by Uther Pendragon @63.184.208.162 : lies
body language will only work if the person feels remorse... if the person doesn't CARE that they are lying to you, then you will have NO sign that they are other then feeling the energies that a person puts off...

I dont know if *vibes* are a thing that people are familiar with here, or even give much credit to... but when I walk into a room, I can tell you who is in a bad mood, who is in a good mood, and who, if anyone, has ill intentions twords me.... there is absolutly NO method to this... and no amount of telling you HOW to read these energies will help you to learn... it is just something that you *feel*.

if you have felt before, that you have an inclination about something, but where unable to explain... open up to the reason you had that inclination.. I think everyone has the ability to read energies, but most seem to ignore it too often.  



28 Dec 2003 @ 10:08 by Brad @216.75.182.54 : Cheating
Sorry if i do a lot of typos. I am pretty sure my g/f is cheating on me and I consdier myself an able person to pick out lies i do play a lot of poker I know when people are bluffing (lieing) abuot things. Plus my sister is a compulsive liar and so am I but i lie about things that don't mattter liek if sombody asked me if i went swimming and i really didn't i would say i did and i have no idea why.

but anyways im pretty sure my g/f is cheating on me but it's hard to bring ti up because i don't want to be wrong and accuse her but she ditches me often and makes up varoius exuses and i have no way whatsoever to check up. when i talk to her about things she is a very shy person so it is hard to tell if she is lieing or not. she often gets really sad and i don't know if she is trying to cry her way out of things or not any ideas?  



29 Dec 2003 @ 18:12 by Tim @24.169.202.106 : Liars
I think the first way you can tell if someone is telling a lie is when you hit them with a question out of the blue...regarding the subject in which you think they lied about...speak clearly and make sure they have your attention....if they answer back with a "What?" they are most likely lieing...its a defense mechanism to buy time to answermwith a reasonable response  


11 Jan 2004 @ 20:16 by Kerri @209.161.8.152 : For Brad
Always trust your first instinct, if you keep thinking about it to much, your instincts can become distorted. Just confront her kindly with the issue and tell her why you think what you do. Also check for any unusual movement or behavior. Trust me, Ive been in the same situation, you will be glad you had said something.  


20 Jan 2004 @ 11:43 by shanetele @140.32.41.8 : How do you confront
How do you confront someone of cheating when the way you found out was snooping. I have access to his voicemail and I can tell from the msg. the female leaves about missing him and just calling to say hello. How can I confront him??? Please help.  


20 Jan 2004 @ 13:30 by ming : Confronting
It is not as simple as confronting somebody, if that's the issue. It is more how you can create an atmosphere where it is safe to tell each other the truth. Most relationships that have a problem with the parties cheating is because they've made unrealistic agreements in the first place. Like promising each other you'll always be faithful, in the sexual sense, and making the implicit agreement that if anybody happens to be interested in another person, the relationship is over. If a relationship is based on a list of rules like that, it has a much lower likelihood of succeeding. Compared with a relationship that is based on an agreement that you like being together, and you'll work through whatever happens, whatever it takes.

So, first make it clear for yourself what it would mean if you're right. Can you have a meaningful conversation about it? Does it mean to you that he needs to stop, that the relationship is over, or that he must have some need that isn't met? Do you truly want to hear the truth about what is going on for him?

If you can get yourself into a place where you can feel calm and centered about it, and caring more about your relationship than about convincing him he's a jerk, then it might just be a matter of calmly presenting him with what you did, and why, and what you found. And maybe what that makes you feel like. You'll of course have to admit that you were snooping in his stuff, and explain why you did that. Talk about you and what you feel, rather than about what's wrong with him.  



20 Jan 2004 @ 15:11 by Kate @68.100.87.138 : Hi
Hi, my name is Kate and I am doing a Science Fair experiment on body lanuage. My project is going to list a series of questions then tell if they are telling the truth or not. I am wondering if you could asisst me in how to make the hypothesis and the procedure. Please help!

*~*Kate*~*  



20 Jan 2004 @ 16:06 by ming : Science experiment
Ask some neutral questions first, to see what they normally do, and so you have something to compare with. If they normally look you in the eye, it might be a suspicious sign if they look away when you ask certain questions.

A person who leans back might be trying to move away, distance themselves from you. A person who has their arms and legs crossed might be trying to hide themselves. Which might mean many other things than that they're lying. It depends on what they otherwise do.

Good liars might look straight at you, keep a poker face, and seem sincere. Politicians are masters at that. Some people it is hard to see, because they are trained in always doing it the same way, whether they're lying or not.

Real people might do all sorts of things. To answer a question they need to do some internal processing, some of which shows in their body language. Often, looking up to see pictures in their mind, to the side to hear things, and down to feel things or think abstractly. Which side they look to is significant, but it is not the same for everybody. One would need to observe them first with neutral questions before one knows what it means.  



25 Jan 2004 @ 16:28 by Jon @67.167.18.44 : just looking for advice
I went out with this girl for a while and thought I lost feeling for he so we broke up for about 3 month during those 3 months she went out with a total sleeze bag that I can't stand. well she left him for me and we got back togeth and what not. and I kept hearing stories about how her and this guy would just have sex everywhere all the time. So I confronted her about it and she said something like "we beraly ever did it". well for the first 3 month we were back together the hardest thing for me to get over was the fact that she slept with this guy. It just completely sickens me. I got over it. Now we've been going out for 9 months and I started hearing more and more stories ie. the first time she hung out with the guy was on her b-day and they screwed and I know 2 ppl that were there and said "yes in deed they got it on in front of all of us" and she said no they didn't. I know she is lying and I know she's lied about alot of things about her relationship with this guy. and now when I look at her I feel sick. she just makes me sick almost and I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I'm feeling anymore and am just looking for some advice if anyone could help me.  


26 Jan 2004 @ 14:30 by somone_unreal @62.167.41.190 : to jon
If you are sure that she has slept with the other person than I am not so sure why you are asking for help over here. You don't need help from anyone, your smarter than you think. It just takes common sense to know what to do with your relationship from now on. Break up with that slut, if you are so sure, and also, rumours, when heard by all your friends as you have said, are more likely to be true, then her 'stories' as you described.  


27 Jan 2004 @ 12:40 by Jon @67.167.18.44 : Just a little advice
the thing is she did it when we weren't going out and I just don't want to seem like a big ass for breaking up with her for doing something when we weren't dating...but however I have 6 bleeding nuckles from bunching walls over it.......  


8 Feb 2004 @ 20:48 by Some_Guy @209.215.0.103 : My girl friend cheating or not ?
my buddy tells me that she is cheating on me so the next day i go up to her and the first thing i said was '' Are you cheating on me'' ?
she said no.. then she sais who told you that then i said I cant tell
so i belive her then i go back to class then right after class my buddy came back and said she was messing around with this guy in the hall..
well, i dont no what to do i leave shcool at 930am (after first period) someone give me good advice pleaase. i hate these feelings.. I need to know if she is lieing or not


When i talked with her of course we kept eye contact she didnt move much
JEez this is hard..
thanks!

is there an easy way to tell if someone is liein or not?  



9 Feb 2004 @ 20:15 by David @207.216.29.154 : Tell if someone is lying
Well I don't know about all this. I can't see my own eyes. But I can certainly lie without feeling bad about it. And I certainly don't do any of those things, or feel stressed when I do it. It's very easy to lie, so I suppose those key areas would work for finding out about a child, or some other people bad at lieing, but overall, that will not work.

Cheers.
David  



13 Feb 2004 @ 15:51 by Homelessy @192.30.226.27 : Fat Liars
I know if larger person is lying because their fat will jiggle. Just like a nervous person, they jiggle.  


14 Feb 2004 @ 13:10 by kenny @68.23.49.50 : love or not
Ok i'm not talkin about my girlfriend cheating on me or nothing she is very faithful and so i'am i. We have been going out for almost 15 months now and lately things have been really different with her, she seems more like she is less interested in being with me, i get this from the tone in her voice she went from that loving tone to a dull i'm just trying to get off the phone with you tone, and i ask her whats the matter and she always tells me nothing, but deep down inside i know there is something wrong but i feel like she is hiding something from me. I know she has a lot of stuff going on between work and school, but it's like lately i try so hard to see her and everytime i tell her i would like to see her once and awhile she always seems to tell me she has something to do. Is it me or does it seem like she is trying to avoid me or trying to push me away a little bit, i get the worst feelings in my gut when i hear her talk to me on the phone she hasn't been the same person ever since she started her new job and spends very little time with me, isn't a relationship trying to atleast be with one another? I will go up to her work and surprise her and eat lunch with her. ANd i ask her if she would like to come up and eat lunch with me on valentines day while i'm at work and she says she has so many things to do and so much to get out of the way before work she won't be able to come see me, i know that she may have things to do but damn it's valentines day don't you think she should atleast want to see me for atleast a little bit? I don't understand it, i love her very much more then words can say i'm always prepared to give her what ever space she may need for work or studying but sometimes i feel like i'm the only one making an effort to see the other person it's like she doesn't want to be with me, and i don't know if she is lying when she tells me she loves me, i would do anything for her and to feel like i'm the only one trying to spend time with the other makes me worry about her really loving me or not. Sometimes she makes me feel like utter shit, she makes me feel guilty alot and makes me hurt so bad inside, when i talk to her sometimes i feel like my heart has been broken i don't know what to do anymore she chooses everything else over me, she'll go in on days she doesn't work instead of trying to see me atleast that one day a week. This has been going on for about the last month and a half and i can stop feeling this horrible pain inside like she has been breaking my heart. I don't know if anyone has any real advice about this but if you do i would like to hear some opinions on it. THanks for everyones time.  


14 Feb 2004 @ 18:04 by Seb @132.246.36.237 : Wow
This thread really won't die!  


15 Feb 2004 @ 09:50 by Moe @132.170.6.33 : Love or not
I have it the same way with my girlfriend and I can assure you there's something wrong. You see if a person -such as my g/f- is that stressed from work and everything, the first thing she'd do after a long hard day is to call the person she cares about the most, well she doesn't, that's it.

Also whenever I call her she give's me this fake happy voice, fellowed by "listen I have to go" and by all means her address is more formal and respectable.

Denial is the word here, your ego will make you keep looking for signs of sencerity instead of facing the obvious.

I'm sorry man, I know how this should feel, I've been depressed for 3 weeks now and feel aweful, and when I talk to her about this, she make it sound like I'm givving her a hard time and make me feel guilty. I'm trying to forget all about her now... slowly.  



15 Feb 2004 @ 09:52 by Moe @132.170.6.33 : P.S.
Well I should have known earlier when I spent new-year's eve without her, with her claiming she's at work.  


20 Feb 2004 @ 12:00 by Moe @132.170.7.180 : But!
Mind you with me it was a short relationship, she was counting on the fact that I didn't know her so well, every case is different...  


23 Feb 2004 @ 11:32 by Jason @204.196.238.69 : virginity
My ex-girlfriend and I have been broken up for a few months and during this break up she lost her virginty, which was something she was very gung-ho about. She is telling people that it was rape but I have a gut feeling it wasn't and the guy she had sex with said it wasn't either. I don't think the police believe it was rape either. I've confronted her about it and she tells me it was rape, but I still have that gut feeling. I don't care if it was sex, it hurts but it wouldn't make me look down on her, or rape, I do care but you all know what I mean. I just ant her to be honest with me, but I think shes afriad to tell the truth. How do I go about bringing out the truth?  


24 Feb 2004 @ 02:42 by Chas @209.128.195.90 : geez
god.... i don't know what's more pathetic, some of these entries, or the fact that i'm wasting time putting one in myself. firstly - to those people about half a page up, who think that they KNOW when someone's lying.... you crack me up. what's funny is, you're so secure in the knowledge that you can tell when someone's lying or not, that you actually don't realize when you're being lied to. in as much as you think you can tell, i am even more sure that you get lied to on a regular basis without even a clue. face facts - there are people who are good at lying all the time, and there are people who aren't - but every situation is different, and sometimes it's the people who aren't good at it, but who have a sincere belief in the idea that they must lie about this one subject, will make them the best liar of all time. another myth spoken here, is the lie about "someone who says trust me is lying". that is probably the most idiotic thing i've ever read, and i'll tell you why. i do both computer, and automotive repair - in both of those fields, there are a lot of fly by night types who take advantage of their customers, so often, i am dealing with someone who has been burned at least once, but who wants to find someone they can actually trust to do the work they need. myself, i make probably 70% of my business on referals or repeat business, so it wouldn't make any sense to try to trick or lie to my customers, or to take advantage of them - simply because i would lose all my business. after i lay all my cards on the table with a customer, and they are still in need of reassurance, i've often found that they need only that one small bit of reassurance to get them past that "i don't know" point. after that i've always gained their trust implicitly, but they were still always unsure about how to proceed until then. now, to the idiot several posts above, that would certainly make me a liar - but in truth, what would happen is, he would choose someone else, which would increase his chances of being ripped off again, seeing as how his chances of being ripped off with me were 0%. truth be known, there is nobody who can tell 100% of the time with 100% of the people. if someone is lying, then their story will have flaws in it - this is the only way to be SURE. if there is no way to verify their story, and you're the paranoid untrusting type, you will have these problems with your relationships over and over again. to be honest, in my observations, it's almost always the one who's cheating, who is the first one to ask someone if they are being cheated on, because they see questionable behaviour in the other person, that they themselves do too - which could be totally innocent, but since they themselves aren't innocent, they assume the other person isn't either. my advice to anyone here thinking about calling someone else the cheater.... instead of being so distrustful and listening to gossip and insinuation thrown around by your so called friends, instead of trying to piece together a situation where your lover is cheating on you, try piecing together a situation that is totally innocent from the details you've heard. a sure way to drive someone away from you, is to make false accusations about them, then to compound it by calling them a liar. how many times have YOU done something that could have been misinterpreted as being something other than what it was?  


26 Feb 2004 @ 14:29 by Amber @198.81.26.7 : Some signs my boyfriend is lying
MY BOYFRIEND IS LYING TO ME AND I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN RECORDING HIS ACTIVITY ON THE COMPUTER. I'VE ALWAYS SUSPECTED HE STILL HAS FEELINGS FOR HIS BEST FRIEND. THIS IS A GIRL WHO HE'S BEEN FRIENDS WITH FOR OVER 10 YEARS AND THEY DATED FOR A SHORT BIT OF TIME. WE'VE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR 2 YEARS NOW, ACROSS THE COUNTRY BUT THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY SIGNS AND I'VE ALWAYS SUSPECTED HE HAS MORE THAN JUST FRIENDLY FEELINGS FOR HER. WELL MY SUSPICIONS WERE CONFIRMED THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN HE SENT HER AN EMAIL SAYING THAT I AM REALLY JEALOUS OF HER AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY, HE THEN WENT ON TO SAY THAT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES HE TALKS ABOUT WITH HER OR MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE "SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE TOP SECRET FEELINGS I HAVE FOR YOU, BUT HOW COULD SHE". I PROCEEDED TO DISCUSS HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH HER AND HE LIED TO MY FACE OVER AND OVER. HERE ARE THE SIGNS I NOTICED FROM HIM WHILE HE KEPT DENYING THAT HE HAS ANY FEELINGS FOR HER. HE WAS TALKING FAST AND EATING FAST, HE WAS GIVING ME MORE INFO THAN I WAS ASKING FOR, GIVING ME MORE DETAILS THAT WERE NOT REQUESTED, HE WAS LOOKING AWAY, MAKING NOISES, SUCH AS SIGHS AND KEPT SAYING UH, UH KIND OF THINGS, HE CONTINUALLY KEPT BRINGING IT UP ALL NIGHT, GIVING ME EXAMPLES OF WHY HE DOESN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER, AS IF HE WAS REALLY TRYING TO CONVINCE ME, HE REALLY WANTED ME TO BELIEVE HIM, HE WAS SUPER DEFENSIVE, GETTING ANGRY THAT I WAS ACCUSING HIM OF SUCH A THING AND BEING VERY SARCASTIC AND SAYING SOME RIDICULOUS THINGS, HE LAUGHED MORE, HE WAS TRYING TO BE NICER TO ME. I KNOW HE'S LYING BECAUSE I HAVE THE PROOF. I KNOW HE'LL BE MAD WHEN I PUT IT IN HIS FACE, SO I'M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME. ALSO I WANT TO GET MORE PROOF BEFORE I CONFRONT HIM WITH WHAT I'VE GOT.  


27 Feb 2004 @ 23:26 by Shannon @24.147.156.31 : Why waste the energy?
I have been surrounded by liars and addicts all of my life, honestly no two are alike, I've noticed frequent liars tend to look more into your eyes, rather than away, but it's a different kind of look, more at you, than into you, many get a dreamy look in their eyes (those are the ones who tend to become the lie, living vicariously through it) slight and suble shoulder movements have always had a tendency to catch my eye, and beating around the bush, defensive tactics, raising of the upper eyelids, usually in quick spurts. I've done some reasearch into NLP, and throwing out random questions, to quickly establish how a person processes information is great fun, but you kinda need an eccentric personality otherwise people get suspicious, or nervous. There was something I read that really hit home, having grown up surrounded by liars, I'd long ago stopped caring if others lied to me or not, honestly sometimes I would rather be lied to, but all the things about paying attention to your OWN body language, I do infact tilt my head, and lean slightly into the person, "getting a better feel for what's going on" I also tend to look back and forth between their eyes while my head is tilted, remaining very impartial and quiet, this seems to make people very uncomfortable, and will tend to amplify all their signals, although, it can have the same effect on insecure honest people. My fail proof method which has sort of just developed itself over the years, and has never failed me, and only kicks in when really needed (not when someone tells me how much they love what I've done with my hideous new hair) is that certain trigger words shoot off in my head, and I can't even focus on what the liar is saying, such as "NO!" or "That's a LIE!!!" If that thought just randomly pops in my head, I trust it, the louder and firmer it pops in, the more I trust it. In any case, lying is something you really shouldn't take personally, it's human nature, and people lie for a plethora of reasons, I feel pity for people trapped by their lies, they are stuck living with them, but you can choose to let the emotions involved in being lied to roll away like water off of a ducks back if you just stop and think how sad it is, to be the liar, rather than how hurt you can feel if you allow yourself caught up in being lied to, always remember Murphy's law, if things can get worse, they will, so smile, tomorrow will be worse, just enjoy the moment, if you're so busy getting wrapped up and obsessed over being lied to, you're wasting precious moments of your life, and either learn to live with the fact that people lie, and the higher your standards, the more you are opening yourself up to be lied to, don't waste the time worrying about if your being lied to, instead spend that time finding not only your own true self, but perhaps someone to fill the void in your life, that you actually feel you can trust! But if like me, the forensics of the topic simply facinate you, pick up a book on NLP (neuro linguistic programming)you'll have a blast with the new skills you'll develop, and just maybe you'll be able to help yourself and others!  


27 Feb 2004 @ 23:45 by Shannon @24.147.156.31 : Amber
Hey Amber, if you'd like some new and interesting tactics on how to deal with your boyfriend lying to you, and how to change the situation, shoot me an email, having plenty of experience through trial and error, I'd be happy to share some tips, I'd be willing to bet you're missing some additional cues, such as the "unflinching stare" and the "placing himself out of reach" (where they actually put physical distance into the picture, such as laying on the couch instead of sitting eye to eye, you obviously have a non-confrontationer, you have to really adhere to strict body postures and vocal tones when even trying to have a simple conversation with these types, otherwise, you may as well just beat your head up against a wall, these types typically tend to stick to their lies even when hard proof IS presented, and are famous for "I have no idea where that came from!" and my personal favorite "you must be crazy!"  


3 Mar 2004 @ 14:00 by taryn @193.63.162.252 : hi
i just want to thank every one who has had an input into this disscussion, alot of your views and points have made complete sence and has helped me alot...
the way i have always tried to figure out whether my b/f is lying is by when i suspect something like he has cheatet.. i trick him into thinking i already know ... so after a while if he is lying he tends to tell the truth ! any way thanks again x x x  



8 Mar 2004 @ 03:01 by ace @4.10.8.22 : coo
this has been a great read for me. I like all the diffrent storys and i hope i get to read more  


8 Mar 2004 @ 03:06 by ace @4.10.8.22 : hey
dude i just want to really know how to read ppl. Is that looking to the left thing lying?  


8 Mar 2004 @ 03:26 by ming : Lying
No, it is not that simple. There ARE ways of gathering a lot of information from people's body language. But lying is never going to be just a simple matter of whether one looks up or down or left or right. In part because lying means different things to different people, and not everybody does it the same way.  


8 Mar 2004 @ 03:29 by ace @4.10.8.22 : ya
But what if the person puts there hand over there mouth and looks at you as if there hiding something? I mean this is a person who always is depressed and does not live a happy life  


9 Mar 2004 @ 09:27 by John @146.96.80.223 : Just another story
So my girlfriend lives about 2 hours away. We see each other on the weekends. She lives with a guy. They have seperate bedrooms. She sais that they never hang out or do anything together. I get this vibe that this is all BS. when I come to her place they completely don't talk to one another which is hard to understand. She has a busy schedule but last week she was home after work every day. This was the week that she was most distant on the phone. We had very short conversations. Then a fight. Then when I cam over we had a huge fight. She told me about how she wants to quit everything. How I will not want her once she does. I've told her many times that this is not true. She never cries but she was crying then. This went on for a while until I said something and she got totally upset and angry. Then his girfriend came by that weekend. It was total awkwardness. Very stiff. She always wanted to go out with couples. This time when I brought it up at night she stopped the conversation and said she was tired. I checked a couple of minutes later and she was very alert and not sleeping. In the morning I asked again and she said that she doesnt want to talk about it while he was there. He left and when I asked she said she did not like them. Never said anything like this before. I think this is all crap. Help interpret  


11 Mar 2004 @ 06:57 by Anon @204.186.170.226 : Hi
If you are really interested in learning how to tell if people are lying to you or not, the FBI released a 10 page report that explains how to. It's been proven to be 97% effective, but like people said nothing is 100%. The document also tells how to tell over the phone, and over an Instant Message system. If you want to learn beyond that you'll have to take a psychology course at a college. I believe there are people who can tell if other people are lying 100% of the time, but I've never met, or talked to one.  


13 Mar 2004 @ 02:39 by chas @67.124.12.85 : again......
psychology courses are what they are.... an interpretation of what one person believes to be "normal" pattern of behaviour given a certain set of circumstances, taking into consideration the persons previous conditioning, they believe a person will fall within a certain range of normalcy in their reactions. indeed, for the majority of people, and daily events, this works for the most part, but - never 100%, and anyone who believes they really can tell without fail that someone is lying to them or not, then it is they who have lied to themselves, convinceingly enough to now believe their own lie that they are infoulable. these are generally the people who suddenly can no longer function, when their whole world collapses upon being confronted with the reality of a situation being different than they thought they "knew" it was. there are very few absolutes in this world.... one way to be sure to catch someone in a lie, is simple proof - can they prove this, or can YOU prove they did something? without any real proof, the majority of things people think they "know" someone is up to, are usually their own suspicious minds filling in the blanks with things they themselves have done. i would be willing to wager that over half the relationships that break up because of jealousy and accusations of "i know you were out with this person" -- are because one (or both) partners are insecure, and are just waiting for a moment to overhear only part of a conversation, or watch every move for a suspicious look... taking any possible oppertunity, to make assumptions based upon their own insecurities or fears. these people will never be happy in life until they can GET OVER IT. if you can't trust someone, then you guaranteed do NOT love them - sorry, you don't. the two go hand in hand.... you can't distrust someone, and still love them.... it never ever works.... no matter how much someone may try, it always ends badly.... and most often, the person says, "well, it's a good thing i didn't trust them, 'cause i did find out they were seeing someone else" -- well duh! nobody could withstand the continued accusations, so basically you drove them away from you right into someone elses arms. if anyone out there reading this is one of those untrusting souls, but not ready to admit it to themselves yet - think about this: has there ever been one time ever in anyones relationship you can think of, that spying on your partner creates a stronger bond -- especially when you finally tell them (which in itself is an act of deception, which people will ultimately justify IF they find their partner cheating by saying, "well, they WERE cheating, so i was right to spy on them" -- but whether they find out or not, it is still deception and mistrust) that you've been spying on them! though i've never heard of anyone who's gone thru the trouble of spying, and when they find nothing, stop doing it and tell their partner..... they instead become more determined to find something, thinking their partner is just hiding it really well (i.e. this person has the mentality of a rock). being suspicious, mistrustful, deceptive - none of these can contribute in a positive way to strengthen a relationship. if only they would put forth 10% of the effort they did in spying, to trying to be a better partner, the person they were with wouldn't have a reason to be going anywhere else. bah, i don't know why i waste my time saying it, as i doubt there is one person reading this who behaves that way.... if you're not going to better yourself by getting a grip on your jealousy and suspicions, then just come to terms with reality and quit playing games.... just come out and tell the person you're with, "i just wasn't sure if you were seeing someone else or not - so i want to know if you are - if you are, then we can go our seperate ways, no fights, no name calling, no hate" -- if the person is seeing someone else, then chances are they're going to leave you anyhow.... giving them the chance to part company like this affords them the option to not have to sneak around how to do it.... you finally give them the "out" they're wanting.... it does work. not only that, but - you have been honest with them, by doing the one thing you WEREN'T doing before (gasp!) --- TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS! there really is only a few ways to be 100% sure about what someone's doing.... you could either tag along with them 24/7, or video tape them 24/7, etc - but if you have to do that, you don't love them, you want to own them - you might as well put an alarm on them and set them with a remote when you leave your house (beep beep).  


15 Mar 2004 @ 11:22 by john @146.96.205.0 : agreed chas!
There was always a suspicion in me that I was trying to fill in the blanks the wrong way just to undermine the relationship. Nonetheless, the fact that people have such fear and jealous fits is not a sign that they don't love them. Sometimes things dont add up. Sometimes they don't make sense. When that happens saying to yourself that "it's ok, because I trust them" is the wrong thing to do. It will eventually undermine the relationship even more. The right thing is to have it be out in the open and ask for some was of gaining peace of mind from your partner. If they can't do that then ineed there is something to worry about. I got over my little situation described above by doing just that. Peace.  


13 Apr 2004 @ 14:40 by Tucker @64.230.141.150 : The FBI Truth Test
I learned how to tell if people are lying using the FBI Truth Test.
It only cost a couple of bucks and man, it has been worth it a hundred times over.
It's all in the eyes!
Check it out www.cyberdating.net/glen_truth1.html  



19 Apr 2004 @ 21:33 by Edward Knight @151.198.138.168 : Lies
a friend of mine regularly plays a game to help determine his lying and truth determining skills (so he thinks.) Get a deck of cards and at least another person, 3 or 4 pepole works better. In turn, one of the folks picks up a card from the deck and decides if they want to lie or tell the truth. He or she will then announce a card value and suite according to their decision. The others in the group try to pick a successfully undetected lie allows the liar to keep up the card picking and the guessers guessing.  


21 Apr 2004 @ 15:36 by Bob to Tucker @66.27.18.46 : The FBI Truth Test
Are you the same Tucker of Tucker Marketing Resources that sells this document?
[link]

A simple web search will often reveal a great deal as to the authenticity of an advertiser's claims. I, for one, do not trust any person, product, or method which claims to be 100 percent accurate in interpreting human behavior.  



4 May 2004 @ 13:39 by don duck @207.233.119.105 : lyeing
i like this girl in my typimng clas she is the worst liar i have seen in my life anyway i like to gou with her but she seems rather reclusive she knows how i feel but does not say anything about it  


11 May 2004 @ 11:24 by Laura @213.122.62.221 : Lies
Hey, i just wanna say that no-one can tell if someone is telling the truth or lieing most of the time, unless you know the person well! I've grown up in a atmosphere full of lies all my life so i've been completely surrounded ny people telling me rubbish constantly. I've figured out how to distinguish when my father is lying to me about whether he's drunk or not, i've learnt how to distinguish when my best friends are lying and also if im being cheated on. The instincts you have can usually give you an indication whether a person is telling you the truth or not and my advice is to stick with these instincts, as someone a few posts back explained...
i really think it depends on the individual and how they react when trying to cover something up and it takes quite a while to learn this. The older you get, the more you understand and the wiser you get...just bare this in mind...

Thanks, laura x
 



14 May 2004 @ 21:37 by Disgusted @67.160.133.196 : FBI lie test
I just purchased the article referred to by TUCKER above. It is a complete ripoff. All it says is, first ask a person some simple questions that they will probably answer truthfully. Check where their eyes look. Then ask the question you really want the answer to. If they look elsewhere, chances are they're lying. Too bad we couldn't see the article's author's eyes! For example, it's a "12 page" document. The first FIVE pages contain no information whatsoever. The last page is blank. The others just repeat what I've said in three sentences. The way to do it "over the phone" is tell them you're playing some sort of game; that they're supposed to TELL you where they're looking when they answer the questions. COMPLETE RIP OFF. DO NOT PURCHASE.  


18 May 2004 @ 16:43 by Jeffrey Mora @4.60.202.172 : How To Tell If Someone Is Lieing To You
I know this one guy name Matt, we both just meet eachother on a date last week and, when I asked him questions, he always looked the other way and answered them. He says he likes me alot and he doesn't want to loose me as a friend at all. I email him 2 times aday and when he does replies back to my emails, it's 4 to 5 days later down the road. He says..."Hey, sorry for not replying sooner but I've been busy, like u said! lol. I've been looking for a job like everyday 'n shit--it's really stressful!" Do you guys think he's a FLAKE or, do you guys think he's telling the truth to me? Any regards would be greatly appriciated, thank you.

Jeffrey Mora  



18 May 2004 @ 16:47 by Jeffrey Mora @4.60.202.172 : How To Tell If Someone Is Lieing To You
One more thing I forgot to tell you guys about him. When I call him on his cell at least 2 to 3 times a day, it's ALWAYS turned off and then his voice message ALWAYS comes on.  


2 Jun 2004 @ 20:12 by Even More Disgusted @67.160.133.196 : Don't leave your real email here
I have a way of tracing who is selling my email address (anybody interested,
see spamgourmet.com). The address I left on my comment above received an egregious email, one of the ones that says "we need to get money out of Nigeria, please help us by doing..." and then proceeds to try and trick people into giving out sensitive information. Either the email address was SOLD BY THIS SITE, or somebody -- doubtfully -- goes through and clicks on every single user profile to send out their dirty work. BEWARE. Just leave a false address.  



3 Jun 2004 @ 06:13 by ming : E-mail
No, this site certainly isn't selling your address to anybody. But if you put it in, it appears in this webpage, obviously, and one of the main sources of spam e-mail addresses is what is harvested from automated searching through public webpages.  


29 Jun 2004 @ 13:25 by Jordan Adams @66.250.246.74 : my pal might be gettin' played
I know this chick Sam, who's goin out with a pal of mine. I think shes cheatin' on him. Ya see she a bit of a flousie by nature and she's not the one to hold herself back when it comes to guys. she's not that bright either.

So this pal of mine Collin is doin' everything he can to please and keep her away from other guys. But just the other night three guys came over to her house and she called up my girl Amanda, and asked if she wanted to come over.That really ticked me off. of course though me and my girl are hooked on each other and we're both extremely faithful so she didn't go.And all of this was happinin' when Collin was on vacation. So when he got back he was pretty ticked to hear about it. So the other night I confronted Sam about it and she said that her mom invited the guys over.But who's mom actually invites people of the opposite sex to your house while she's gone for about 3 hours.

So you see I don't want Collin' to get played but I don't want them to break up cause then Amanda has to hear Sam whine about it and I have to hear collin whine about it. I need some info if you have any please email me with some helpful advice.  



1 Jul 2004 @ 16:29 by austin @68.202.189.102 : hi
hi everyone, i needa know if my gf is cheating on me, we dont see each other much becuase i moved and i talk to her on the phone for hours and when i ask her questions she answer's normally but i dont know how to tell by her voice if she is lieing, only by body motions in person. what are some ways i can tell by the way she talks. thank you.  


1 Jul 2004 @ 18:33 by Jordan Adams @66.250.246.77 : Austin
It depends on ow normally she answers. If she tries to get of the subject of other guys. If she's the kinda girl who isn't as clever you could play some mind games to make her admit it. Also it depends on how often you see her and how far away you are.I think the max is between 50 mi. to 70 mi. and 45 minutes to and hour away.  


22 Jul 2004 @ 01:37 by Joceyln @24.64.223.204 : Caught a liar, what to do next
Kay, I met this guy. We dated for a few months. He left me one morning and without telling me why, I never spoke to him again. I didn't speak to him for 2 months until...I created a decoy on the internet and got him to talking to this alias I created. Well I found out that he is married (soon to be divorced, he says) along with many other things that he didnt tell me, when he and I were seeing each other. Well the alias I created convinced him to make contact with me again. Funnily enough he never catched on that it was me, and still hasnt mentioned anything about the alias (considering she and I are friends, haha) and he and I have met up a few times. I have yet to confront him in his lies. I want to thats for sure. I have been reading over many of the "How to tell if he is lying emails" and I am quite impressed. I want to tell him that I know, but I don't want him to lie. He is a very reserved guy and I am afraid that if he could get away with lying to me previously so well, that he will do it again. I know for a fact that I want to bring up the fact that I know, but I need to do it in such a way that he will be dumbfounded that I actually found out. (To think that he thought he was talking to someone new, when in fact it was me the whole time, is histarical.) I also got my revenge you could say. This girl he thought he was talking to (me) invited him out for coffee (blinde date and all) and she didnt show up. I was across the street watching him wait, it was great. Well back to my dilema. I want to tell him that I know that he is married and I that I know the real truth (via the decoy), but I want him to tell me in person. I want him to admit to me, what he has done. If not to give me peace of mind, but to let him know that he cant get away with this with everyone. Did he lie to me cause he thought that I wouldnt go for him if I knew the truth? Or did he just want sex? Sooo, I am planning on having him over soon and telling him, but I need suggestions. Should I confront him telling him that I know (not telling him I was the decoy of course...I also saved all "their" conversations on the computer, should I show him?) Should I talk to him normal at first for a bit before I tell him? Should I say, I have something to ask you? Or should I say, I know...this of you, tell me the truth! Any suggestions would be great. If anything he will come over to my place and we will sit on the couch, should the lights be on bright, should I do it while we are in bed (heehee), I dont know what to do. Please help me!!!!!!  


27 Jul 2004 @ 11:14 by woody @69.86.44.136 : what to do - help me
I’m with my girlfriend for two years now, and we love each others, but the only thing I can’t ignore is that she as a friend which she is corresponding with for a long time even before we met, she is keeping him in secret even though he lives 10 blocks a way from us. We had a fight last year about it, but she still in touch with him beyond my back and I had to spy on her e-mails and saw that she is still corresponding with him and he is trying to convince her to keep him as a secret. I do love her very much and I do believe she loves me, but I break her trust by spying on her (I didn’t confront her yet) and she broke my heart by having an internet a fair or whatever you call it.
What to please advice  



5 Aug 2004 @ 10:47 by johansson @165.21.154.13 : Long distance
Its been happening for 2years now. we see each other every summer for 3 weeks and winter for 5 weeks. but all she does is work for her projects and school and talk about all the cool guys she knows, yet the important stuff like being mugged and date raped and having her stuff stolen. This she tells me after 3-4months after it happens or I learn about it through her friends. She has lied about me to her parents, or should I rather say her parenys know nothing about me. She stays over at guys places saying there was a party and did not want to go home. One time she says there are several people staying there, then another time she says its her, the guy and his gf.
Who do I believe?What do I believe.  



12 Aug 2004 @ 18:04 by Sarah @12.21.211.35 : Impossible...
I think it's absolutely impossible to tell whether or not a person is lying...I was a criminal for three years of my life, and still have a warrant in Canada; lying was second nature. I can do it comfortably, without guilt or remorse, and knowing what I'm doing is wrong beforehand, I often have a detailed well thought out story beforehand, which I make sure I fine tune before I have to explain myself to anyone. This doesn't mean I think much is worth lying about these days, unless it's how much money I've run up on the credit card. Lying is fatiguing, unless you truly get some perverse pleasure about it...However, while I think it's impossible to tell if a most people are lying, I think it's easy enough to tell if someone is cheating. First of all, unless the person is a totally insensitive clod, chances are they won't repeat various behaviors they're aware will make their partner insecure. Period. If my boyfriend doesn't like me going to the bars without him, I won't go, because his feelings are more important. If I do go, knowing his feelings are at stake, then chances are- he has a right to be suspicious. If someone changes radically and quickly- chances are they're cheating. If your once affectionate homebody spouse begins to stay out late, going out of their way to find tasks that will busy them, or keep them away from home, chances are they're cheating. If compliments dwindle and they begin to discuss someone else, often, even if it sounds totally innocent, chances are they're cheating...We're all just big kids at heart, and when we get excited about something new, we can't help but express that excitement to anyone who will listen...So, if you're boyfriend or girlfriend begins to offer up instances of what the barista at the corner says in flirtation, or humor, every morning when he or she gets a daily espresso, be guaranteed they're affection is wandering. Agitation is a sure sign of guilt. When boyfriend gets insecure about a cab driver, I laugh and think it's ridiculous...If I send him a trojan to monitor his computer activities and he finds it, he laughs and thinks it's cute. We have nothing to hide, and love each other desperately, so these things ring as endearing, rather than annoying...There was a time however when we both drifted apart and were not so innocent in our outside interests...I would say most people, who are capable of assessing potential loss and consequence, will give themselves away easily....Simply because guilt is a heavy burden, and cheating is traumatic for everyone involved. People who are traumatized seek comfort, generally, and if we feel it's safe to seek comfort even in the face of cheating on our loved one, we'll surely do it. So, I think unless you're one of those sincerely compassionate souls who sees people as fundamentally flawed human beings rather than an extension of yourself, the only way to catch a liar is with hard evidence....Or a lie. The best lie is simply false security. Lending the impression that everything will 'be okay against any odds' and not faltering even when they first don't give up the truth is the clearest path to persuading them to come forward... At least with a piece of it.  


12 Aug 2004 @ 18:52 by Sarah @12.21.211.159 : One more thing...
I will add this, though, if you're dating someone who is cheating because some emotional need isn't being met in the relationship, ie. they feel unloved (and in most instances they probably are unloved at that point), but still feel love for you, they'll be much harder to catch...Simply because they're not as willing to compromise their routine with you, their greatest need and focus, for the filler they are trying to replace you with....When my relationship was deteriorating I was too busy withdrawing from him and giving my attention away to other people to pay attention to what he was doing...He was still eager to get commit, talking about marriage, etc. etc. Nothing he did could have told me he was seeing someone else. In fact, he saw her for two weeks, constantly standing up her to see me. If I called he dropped everything to do the littlest favors and tasks at my request. This is the 'norm.' And because his feelings didn't change for me, his pattern didn't either. Only his own self esteem was altered, which was apparent in how he took care of himself. He rarely had an appetite, he quit taking care of himself...He never quit telling me I was beautiful or that he loved me, every hour on the hour, and I always recognized his sincerity....Even if I didn't reciprocate it, at the time, and my withdrawl was obvious to both of us, so, he felt hopeless and hurt, and I think at points just wanted to forget about me. I really don't blame him. How did I find out? Because he sure as hell didn't admit it to me until his sister told me...Then he still denied it...So, I had to lie and tell him I was expecting a phone call 'from the other woman.' I told him I tracked her down and left her a message. Eventually he spilled it, and I know that he had been missing something essential in the relationship, so it's difficult to have hard feelings about it.  


17 Aug 2004 @ 23:12 by fred @80.58.35.45 : yeah yáll gotta point
wellll, I, unfortunately, recently got informed about some (at least one) of the lies that i fell for. 20 20 hindsight ain´t no good 4 nothin. But once you been bald faced lied to, face to face, eye to eye, with Meryl Streep type acting included, you´ll never trust body language. Hell, I beat polygraphs several times for job applications. Some people were just born 2 bullshit. Look at the Bush administration.
best luck to all yáll. My advice is if you´re in doubt, trust your first instinct. Bail.  



18 Aug 2004 @ 01:29 by J @62.253.32.4 : Thanks
I just read the whole page, and thanks for everyone who has posted, its all really helped me. I was searchin because I wasn't sure whether or not my b/f had cheated on me in the past...Reading the page hasnt given me any answers, but It has given me a new outlook to things...which may help me in the future. This was my final attempt at tryin to figure out if he was lyin or not..because after past relationhips, I suppose I may have always jumped to connclusions. There is one more thing I would like to ask though...After telling my boyfriend I wanted to split, he claimed he was dying (Over the computer) etc. As far as memory recalls it wouldnt be the first time either...but then, he often says hes ill (feels sick/headache) during arguments...Altho it doesnt matter now, I was wondering if that is a sign of lying too? Many Thanks... X  


18 Aug 2004 @ 12:21 by fred @80.58.35.45 : oh weezy, thissis the big one...
Damn, And it actually worked ? what do you look like? How bout dinner sometime?  


19 Aug 2004 @ 23:00 by Mike @206.47.220.230 : JON - JAN 04 0 - Just looking for advice
This is similar to a situation that I've been in. This kind of stuff drives me insane! You have to look within yourself for the answer ... the problem is yours, not hers - just like me with mine.

Think about why she's lying to you: Is it because she's trying to protect your feelings? Is it because she likes him more than you? Really think about it. Forget about if she's lying or not. MING said it best, "do you really want to know the truth?"

What will you gain by knowing how and what she did? It will only drive you insane. I'm sure she feels the same way if she heard about what you may have done in your past ... even if it was nothing crazy. Everyone is jealous in some way shape or form, and everyone has insecurity in them.

If you really want to know the truth, ask her how hearing such things makes you mad, and how knowing the truth would help you - even if it hurt a bit. Would it help you, though?

If you want to know whether someone is lying or not, go with your feelings but remember to believe for the 'good' first. If your GF/BF/Partner/Friend (or whatever) is late meeting you, don't assume they're cheating on you. Could they have left home later than planned? Could they have stopped off somewhere to buy something? Maybe to even buy something for you? =) Then, after you see them, only YOU will know if they're telling the truth. Be cool and take a step back once in a while - you'll have a better, more accurate perspective on the situation.  



22 Aug 2004 @ 07:35 by Doug @4.158.156.6 : Internet Drama! Lying..Am I into deep??
I met this girl in TSO (sims online) and she had fallin for me. We decided to get together in game in another city. Well a few friends told me she seems to have more than one guy in game. We were together for awhile in game until she had some friend show up and now is a roomate at our sim house..Well hes ALWAYS there when shes on. She knows I have a hard time with him..She keeps telling me i want u to get along hes just a friend and too young for me hes 25 shes 32. Well one time I got into the other city when they both were on i went to do some spying i saw that he had in his bio how he loves this girl and loves her in real life. she didnt have anything on her bio for awhile. I confronted them about it she was mad that i didnt trust her. HE said its some girl i like well why dont u put her name in then? Well what happend in game was now she has put in her bio about this guy she loves and likes and cares for and life in real life isnt the same without him. SO, I played a game and said that i was thinking of joining them as roomates in the OTHER city..she got quiet a second and said only reason i go there is to talk to one of my friends. (shes really with ME a lot in the other city) Well she finally told me well u can join us sure but he is my roomie now and there is this girl thats stalking him and wont leave him alone so i put that bio in..But it is for u!!! Not for him!!! Well ok now out of game. She gets defensive when i bring up i have a problem with him she defends him. She seems to now where we all 3 are in game he goes to bed or she does and not too long after that the other one seems tired. Shhe tells me she usually turns the ringer off at night and has the phone under her pillow..I have talked to her at nights when shes in bed. But not all nights...I just feel like they both get off and call each other I confronted her about this...because at one point she gave him my number to give to me because she was on aim I wasnt he was and he was also on yahoo and so she passed it over ot him to me...he said he dont have her number anymore. When I have brought up that does he ever call? she says no he does not. shes not mean about it or nothing. But one time I heard her daughter in the background say who u talking to mommy Doug or (guys name)? She pulls the phone away and says something. I mentioned oooh so u do talk to him on the phone...geeez no i dont she is talking about on the computer. I do not trust her and shes wanting to move here...told me she hopes her car dont break down on the way here..I just have this funny feeling shes gonna make the excuse when the time comes and leaves that her car broke down and shes gonna be with him and never make it here...SHe gets so upset because I dont trust her...She says I hate lying!! But she keeps wanting me to call her and says I love you I want to be with u...One time I almost broke up with her cuz of this this guy was upset with me and said what u on drugs??!! what u doing!?! she begged and cried for me to call her not to leave!! So we patched things up she said if u want me to leave the house in game i will!!! Welll here is the catch she dont have the money to get here...she wont take my money...at one point I tlld her id send her money to get here...(STUPID ME) I havent sent it yet..I wanted to see what she had to say about me and a friend coming to get her instead she paused and kept saying ummm ummm..and saying thats fine that would be great!!!
let me know what he says! WEll I lied to see what shed say...But now shes willing to have us come get her. And she wants to move here in like 2 weeks!!! I need help fast to find out if shes lying to me!! I even thought about figuring out a way to hack her pw on yahoo but i cant do that!! Thats not me. I just want to get some SOLID PROOF before its too late to catch her....what do i do? how do i ask or find out without her knowing or asking in a way she cant get pissy with me? We have talked about this way too much and shes tired of talking about it. I have had this kinda thing happen before and the girl wasnt lying to me and i lost her!! So I want to make sure I am doing the right thing here and get solid proof before she comes!!! How can i tell shes lying on the phone or on the net or get on as her or should i get on as a different person and msg her and go from there like I read above?
NEED HELP FAST!!!!!  



22 Aug 2004 @ 07:51 by Doug @4.158.156.6 : Me again!
Sorry forgot to add a few things. When we are on the phone she NEVER mentions this other guy. We never bring him up unless I have a problem with something. She talks a lot about moving here and cant wait she wants to be here now! Shes even said shes made plans for when shes here with me and what she wants out of life together. I want to trust and believe her, but maybe I am assuming she says I am. But I keep getting this feeling shes lying to me. And I even read through the 10 ways to tell if someones lying. I can only do the ones that are not in person...so out of 10 it seems like 3 could match. She goes as far as telling me when she has to check on her kids...That I have to check on OUR son or Our Daughter as if shes trying to include me with them which is great! But, is this a cover up? AM I assuming and need to trust her? THis has been my problem in past relationships and she says im just being insecure that she would never cheat or hurt me or leave me. Some friends say get out!!! You need to call it quits! Others say yes u are being too enscure and and assuming give her a chance! So what do I do?!  


30 Aug 2004 @ 23:18 by victoria @69.34.235.16 : not a friend
I have a friend who was my friend in 5th grade but when we got to sixth grade she said " I was only your friend becuse I felt sorry for you." and runs off with a geek. every time i call she always said "i got to go." every time i pass her at school she acts like she is my friend becuse im popular. I am 12 in 6th grade and only 48 in. what is going on am i being used?  


13 Sep 2004 @ 19:26 by CHRIS @207.158.42.207 : LIES
If you are the type of person that actually takes in what others say and not just ignore or careless about what they have to say, then you'll feel the lie as it fills you with a sense of darkness. When something doesn't make sense to you and common sense says"what", your mind is alerting you that something is wrong"not right". If you have no reason why a person would lie to you but your gut feeling is that they're are lying to you, it may because your too used to people telling lies. I've been truthful with people like that, I can't say they are lying so I say "it's what I think, not that I'm right". Pretty much lies are a form of darkness and if you are all about the light(truth), you will feel the negative and positive energy's pushing each other. away.  


24 Sep 2004 @ 15:13 by jennie jelly head @80.5.160.4 : dont be a hot head like me :)
i had a gut feelin that something wasnt right with my bf and i did the sin of all sins . . . checked his emails, lo and behold, there were sum very interesting reads! when i confronted him (in the hot-headed manner i have) he denied and wouldnt answer my questions till he got home and re-read the emails. then . . .nearly 2 hours later he dicided on a story!! i am meeting him tonight because i want answers and thanks to this website i can ask the right questions and hopefully figure out the lies from the truth. Whether i stay with him is another matter but i am letting him believe i will aslong as the truth is told . . . hopefully this approach will encourage him to be honest and that i will get the answers i deserve . . . then i can say cya later ;) thanx  


30 Sep 2004 @ 14:47 by Hot Dog @192.6.178.101 : Real world applications
I find this information to be very helpful. I work in the urban pharmaceutical distribution industry where I am a Division Manager in Sacramento. It is important to know when someone is lying to you. In the game we call that "street smarts". One time I was making a deal with this guy and I asked him if the product was good. His eyes moved to the left. He tried to overcompensate by telling me how great they were, like we were boys. yeah, this guy thinks he knows me...he don`t know me! I knew what I had to do.
Without warning i wheeled and left. Then I took his sister out for a nice seafood dinner and never called her again. And that`s real.  



1 Oct 2004 @ 15:45 by Charlotte @195.92.168.179 : i think iam being lied too
my boyfriend lies to me what can i do to catch him oout??  


11 Oct 2004 @ 06:56 by crazyman @82.3.32.71 : i'm not sure???
i'm unsure if my partner is lying to me, little things have added up and i feel that gut feeling something is not right, she has just started a new employee in which she gets on with very well,the employee goes to bingo every wednesday, so lorraine my partner mentions to me and i say go for it i don't mind, so the first nite she goes out and comes home about 1200am ish, the second time she comes home 2am, at this point i'm saying bingo doesn't go on till that late?????? i was just talkin with becky her employee at her house and didn't realize the time, ok, then the 3rd time she went out she came back at 1am got in to bed and her whole body was freezing i said where have u been u are very cold all over, bearing in mind she has just travelled about 25 miles in the car home, why did she not put the heater on???????? i ask my self,
i then visit her at work to find out she has a flat tyre, so the good natured that i am, i offer and change her tyre, to find out that she has all her leathers and boots in the car, ( for which we bought for her to travel on my motor bike) intantly the gut feeling make me feel almost sick, was she so cold that other nite because she had been on some ones bike, to me that adds up, and the sudden late nite back, she never switchs on her mobile in morning untill she has left for work, and guards it well when we are at home, our relationship seems distant, the bedroom stuff seems to of dwindled away, i spoke to her about these issues and she flew of the handle and got every defensive, then saying i've got trust issues i need to sort out? i'm askin is this right do i? am i paranoid?, does the things i've said add up the same way, or am i just fucked up? please any feed back would help  



23 Oct 2004 @ 21:11 by sarah @82.37.232.16 : anxiety is not lieing
Thats not exactly true someone may suffer with anxiety and therefore find it difficult to speak so it may look like they are lieing if for example they had social anxiety. Someone with social anxiety finds interaction with people very difficult therefore they will use defence mechanism to get through the situation like no eye contact etc.  


24 Oct 2004 @ 22:33 by katie @66.56.195.186 : i think my husband is cheating on me
last night my husband went out. he is out of town right now for the military training and his graduation was last night and he went out to some bar and at first he kept calling to check up on me and then a few hours after that i kept trying to call him and no answer for 3 hours. well when i talked to him he said he was on his way back to the barracks and was in a cab. well the funny thing was, he called me back 2 hours later and said he was being dropped off by the cab driver. i asked him if he went somewhere else because there is no way that he could of been in the cab for 2 hours. well i think he went somewhere else and is not telling me. i tried to ask him where he had gone and he was just too drunk to understand. well today i haven't talked to him but he's been trying to call me but i feel like i should just avoid him. what do you think is going on with that? please help  


4 Nov 2004 @ 07:55 by AMANDA @210.54.102.26 : SUM PPL R STUPID
im replying to katie,i think u should just talk to him instead of avoid him,hows that helping ur marriage,avoiding him would just make the situation worse.if ur having a prob with ur bf,gf,husband wife whoever talk to them thats always the best thing,just be careful of their feelings and what you say other wise you may regret things you may never be able to take bak in the future.  


9 Nov 2004 @ 23:46 by Caro @69.194.38.200 : Lying Partner
when ever I ask my partner if she had a relationship with someone she closes her eyes and says "NO" and I should believe her. She often mispronounces the words while replying, moves her face away on listening to my accusations. She has been exceptionally friendly and caring ever since I have started accusing her. Should this all mean she has cheated on me.should I interpret it that she is lying about her relationship. Please add insight to solve my problem I am very stressed.Thanks
 



8 Dec 2004 @ 03:31 by renee thomas @65.83.120.2 : cheating
hey every 1 does any1 know johnathon johnson if u do i need to know if hes cheating on me  


12 Dec 2004 @ 07:15 by DO DA @65.68.0.61 : VERY INTERESTING
This is very interesting because I have read alot about LIE DETECTING on alot of different web sites and it all pretty much says the same things...

Why repeat yourselves  



1 Jan 2005 @ 20:35 by peo @62.254.64.12 : your all gay
your all gay n thats all i say, hack me wack me smack me happy new year fuck u all, btw the fact above are true, ppl do fuck up wen liein i kno im a lier :P  


7 Jan 2005 @ 01:48 by doug @24.158.114.139 : how to tell a liar
the liar often fiddles with his or her hands because he is nervous  


7 Jan 2005 @ 01:58 by poe @24.158.114.139 :
u suck  


22 Jan 2005 @ 22:04 by Satan I mean Santa. @65.49.141.51 : I KNOW YOU'RE LYING
HONESTLY WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO DEBATE AND ADD YOUR OWN OPINION, SUCK MY DICK. I KNOW I'M GIVING MY OPINION, BUT IS IT REALLY? MAYBE IT'S SOMEONE ELSES OPINION MAYBE I'M LYING CAN YOU TELL? I THINK MY TIT HAS SO MUCH CELLULITE THAT IT REALLY LOOKS LIKE COTTAGE CHEESE. SO HONESTLY EAT YOUR GREEN BEANS AND STARE AT THE SUN TILL YOUR EYES MELT, THEN EAT SOME FAST FOOD FROM ARBY'S BECAUSE YOU WILL DIE LIKE A BREAD LOAF WITH IT'S EXPIRY DATE.  


21 Apr 2005 @ 00:20 by Madeleine @210.80.130.198 : ???
how uncomfortable...  


2 May 2005 @ 22:20 by science @81.134.8.130 : lying
Listen.

There is NO 100% way to tell if someone is lying by their behaviour. Thats it, end of story. If you really need to know, you'll need physical evidence.

While I'm here, its worth pointing out that YOUR behavior affects the person you are trying to analyse and its just as likely that you are unable to hide your suspicions as it is that they are covering up their agendas.

People who think they can always tell when people are lying... this is a comfort zone you have created for yourself - for example, if you have decided they are not, they are relieved of suspicion and you would cease to question which would lead to a sense of security. You relax your perceptions and therefore are unlikely to see something that would alert you again.

Its all self-fulfilling prophesies. All you people in here going out of your minds trying to cling to these situations: if they are making you that unhappy, LET THEM GO. Its not whether they are lying or not, its a matter of you not trusting them, and thats as much to do with you as it is with them.

Look inside yourself.  



11 May 2005 @ 12:17 by Roxy @68.157.161.4 : Liars
Eh..I've learn there are 2 different kind of liars..the kind who cant look you in the eyes, but get really nervous n stuff...but then theres the good liars (yes they exist) they can look dead in the eye and lie to you...trust me i know..my boyfriend is one..But..greatfully i can call him out of it every time (we've been together for 2 years now) stupid boy...anyway..long story short if your dating a guy and your comfortable with one another then you can pretty talk n know everything about one another, but theres sometimes your boyfriend lies because he thinks he protecting you or somethin along those lines..which is stupid I'd rather know the truth than be "protected" from something stupid. He might think your'll get upset about a situation, or hide a phone number from you because you don't like him talking to that particular person. Buutt girls always find out...allwayyss thought i would leave that thought  


17 May 2005 @ 13:04 by chad @82.36.26.112 : im a liar but i cnt help it
i just wanna say that for some people its very hard not to lie. i used to lie wen i was younger and unfortunately my lies seem to carry on one after the other. the lies hav got so big that i have to carry on lying to make sense of the lies i have allready given. if i tell the truth then everyone would hate me cuz my lies have been carrying on for years so now i have to pretend that every lie i told was true. my life is basically a lie but i found it difficult to stop lying and still do. i think im a very good liar indeed, no1 has ever caught me out on the big lies i have been telling which i am happy about, but this also means that i will continue to lie as i no that i wont get found out! i think i am one of those liars which never get found out. i mean its been like 4 years now where my big lies have been carrying on, and yet no1 has found me out. sometimes i lie just to make my life more interesting but in the end i hav no choice but to carry the lies on. i dnt no wat to do  


18 May 2005 @ 16:57 by jmarc : yo ming
what is your computer monitor, a movie house screen? I mean geez, that's alot of side to side scrolling in here! lol!  


5 Jun 2005 @ 18:00 by integrity @172.173.187.25 : Chad's lies
Chad you don't see your lying to yourself more than you are to anyone else. If your lying all the time the people closest to you already know your a liar, and still they choose to be around you. So in reality they won't hate or leave you. If they even do hate you at all they won't show any more hatred than they already do. I think you believe your own lies more than anyone else does. Life is always much easier when your honest. When you tell the truth your done, and you look better in other peoples eyes. When you lie it is a vicious cycle that you can't SEEM to stop. You have to repeatedly think of new lies to cover up your first lie. That is just too exhausting not to mention bad for your reputation. People who lie about un-important little things can never be trusted to tell the truth about the important big things. Do yourself a favor and just come out of the closet already. Show the people around you your remorseful and want to change. Ask for help, if they care about you they will help you.  


29 Jun 2005 @ 16:50 by John @136.217.0.194 : Lies
When I ask my girlfriend about something, and instead of just answering the question, sometimes she gets mad and walks away. Saying she is finished with me and that's her business. Does that sound like someone lying?  


29 Jun 2005 @ 18:30 by Ge Zi @24.126.199.23 : no way...
Hi John,
no way she is lying - it's just another way of telling you how much she loves you - seriously!  



17 Aug 2005 @ 17:03 by lindsey @66.240.8.105 : ?
my boyfreind has cheated on me once even though he was crying i knew and he told me the truth should i still be worried that hes still doing it or even be worried that he just might want to be alone?  


21 Sep 2005 @ 22:31 by sophia @65.34.213.109 : cheating
i have been talking to my bf and i asked him if he's cheating on me. he said no and then looked away and smiled. he swore to me that he would never be able to cheat on me but i just dont have the trust in him. i dont know why though. i do sort of believe him but then again he did turn away and smile. i asked him why he's smillin and he just said its becuz im makin him smile. please help me with this one. i just dont want to get hurt again.  


22 Sep 2005 @ 21:59 by Craig @82.38.216.92 : girlfriends agressive when i accuse her
I've been seeing my girlfriend for nearly a year now and I love her but trust her as far as i can throw her to be honest. I started getting suspisions when random guys came up to her and bought her drinks etc.. on her birthday which was almost 7 mnths into the relationship she told me the first two months she use to go out to clubs spacificly to snogg as many guys as possable with her friends so i finnished her but she floaded me with phone calls and asked to meet me and me being the fool got back with her cause she swore she'd never do it again and it was only in the first two months, I'm SURE it wasnt and i think shes still doing it!
Then at a music festival 2 of her good friends told me shes slept with ppl behind my back and i should get rid, obviously i was pissed off and confronted her but she denied it all and called her friends liers... i beleived her, Only reicently have i started checking these sites out and i've noticed tones of things she does when she denies these aligations like repeating the word "no" being agressive, over protective talking at a fast speed raising her voice eye movement waving her hand and acting cold when she talks to me.. i never accuse her any more even though im sure shes still sleeping with guys behind my back because she gets so aggressive when i accuse her and she'll never ever admit what im sure shes done... im thinking about spying on her and finding out for sure,
What do u think i should do?  



23 Sep 2005 @ 04:59 by bushman : Hmm.
Well, my ex acted like that, and when I decided to find out, I found out she was strung out on Methanphetamines. And that was how she would get her drug, by sleeping around. Id of noticed something was going on, but working 2 jobs, some of our friends would tell me, she was doing this stuff, and I didnt believe them. I met her in highschool, went out a couple of years, got her pregnant and got married, that lasted 2 years, had to take custody of the kid when she was 10 due to her mom's drug and alcohal problems. Im 43 now, and she is dead, died last year from kidney failure. All I'm saying is, that if that is the path you see before you, get her some help get yourself some help.  


12 Oct 2005 @ 00:21 by Jelly @151.201.36.251 : Eye gestures...
I read a lot of the posts in here, but I really haven't found one that has answered my "is he lying" question. I am a 30 year old woman who has just been through enough of the b.s.

It's a very long long complicated story, (my bestfriend 10 years ago, he was in love with me and I wouldn't give him the time and I had a boyfriend at the time, he got a girlfriend, I moved out, we didn't talk for a few years (my fault)... started talking again 1 1/2 years ago and now are in a "sticky" and "unconventional" relationship sort of thing... to paraphrase:

To my b/f: "Can I ask you a question? Please be honest with me. Have I lost any of my allure that I used to have?" His response "No, not one ounce. In fact, it's gotten even stronger"... (he said a little more too, but it's not important)... as far as eye movement is concerned, I have searched the net trying to find out... to which direction is it they look if they are lying? Is it that he would be looking up and to HIS right if he were lying? Because that is all he did. There is a great deal more that has lead me to this path of thinking, this just happens to be the one thing that is really really bugging me this moment. It could be a classic string-along... or not...

I have been hurt a great deal in the past... My mind is just thinking that ... oh, I don't know... too much right now...

Any help is appreciated. Thanks.  



14 Oct 2005 @ 23:59 by Some Guy @4.156.33.199 : Cheating...
I have found that people who have cheated in the past are likely to do it again. Try to do a little reconnaissance before going out with someone if you can. I know it sounds a bit sneaky but if your friend knows an ex boyfriend or girlfriend of the person, it might be a good idea to see if there are any ill feelings or if that person was the one who cheated on the person you’re interested in. By looking to the past we can help prevent future mistakes.

If you are already involved in a relationship then you might want to bear this fact in mind: people are creatures of habit. This means that going out with someone or living with them you should notice certain patterns of behavior that for that person are “normal.” If there is something abnormal going on I.E. cheating, then it will show up in their behavior at some point. Think of it like this, if a robbery suspect lived in the same house as a cop, how long do you think it would take a watchful eye to spot an error in body language or behavior?

Most importantly, do not ruin a perfectly good relationship for no reason other then your own paranoia. I lost a girlfriend in the past due to that. She had a boyfriend who was unfaithful in the past and she allowed her own insecurity to take our relationship apart without any rational thought. Try to remember how delicate the situation is as others have stated in above posts.

I have read through all of the posts put here and have seen quite a few people asking for relationship help. I (as well as the posters here) could not possibly give you sound advice concerning your situation as there are about a couple dozens variables and other things concerning your situation that we could not possibly know. The bottom line here is you yourself need to stop and try to remove yourself from your situation. Try to give yourself advice as if you were the person giving the advice to someone else. I have found that some harder problems were solved when I explored things in this way.

Another poster above said it the best: “if you're not going to better yourself by getting a grip on your jealousy and suspicions, then just come to terms with reality and quit playing games.... just come out and tell the person you're with, "i just wasn't sure if you were seeing someone else or not - so i want to know if you are - if you are, then we can go our seperate ways, no fights, no name calling, no hate" -- if the person is seeing someone else, then chances are they're going to leave you anyhow.... giving them the chance to part company like this affords them the option to not have to sneak around how to do it.... you finally give them the "out" they're wanting.... it does work. not only that, but - you have been honest with them,” – Chas

Good luck!  



16 Oct 2005 @ 04:42 by ME @4.248.94.106 : Lying
at number8 where it says overstated friendlyness/laughing well thats not always true because sometimes when i tell then truth i laugh even when people dont believe me.  


27 Oct 2005 @ 07:23 by Emmick @196.44.140.238 : Lying
I was going out with guy and I found out that he was lying, he was going out with someone and when I asked him, he kinda of freaked out I told me that we will talk about it the other time and came up with a different subject.

By listing to our body language we canb really tell if someone is lying to us and also by observing their body languega, the tone of voice that they use and also the face exprension that they show.  



1 Nov 2005 @ 18:05 by Renee @199.120.91.62 : Lying, and hurt
I have always had a problem of believing anyone. To be quite honest with you, I don't think that there is anyway to tell if someone is lieing. You can either tell your self that their telling the truth, but maybe their not. Or you can tell yourself that their lieing, but maybe their not. Don't trust anyone. Not even yourself!  


7 Dec 2005 @ 19:12 by Fern @70.68.179.79 : Lying
I have a bad habit of lying when it comes to getting out of boring situations. This is becoming a problem because I am getting good at it and I am starting to believe my own stories. Example- Somebody will ask me a question, which I know will turn into one of those 2 hour mundane conversation. And I will make up a story out of the blue to avoid the conversation.If my girlfriend asks me when we are going to get married( which is all the time- we are engaged now)I tell her a date one year from the time she keeps asking me.I know this conversation could go on forever and ever. But I a find myself lying to avoid situations. Besides that I am a pretty honest guy 90% of the time when I am telling only 10% of the truth.  


23 Feb 2006 @ 23:35 by Suzannd @24.229.100.206 : help
hey. i was just wondering what i should say for my project. we had to pick a project and i chose to do it on, "how you can tell if someone's lying. can u help me in steps of what i should do first. thanks.  


12 Mar 2006 @ 10:32 by roadman @82.35.147.93 : supposed to be a good friend
can someone please help me.
i got 2 good friends that have never totally seen eye to eye. but i know one of the guys is a bit jealous, shows a lot of fake love to get status. recently, out of coincidence they were both selling the same product illegally. the jealous one was caught and my other mate carried on doing it. after making a lot of money he got caught but the circumstances surrounding it made it very obvious that the other jealous guy grassed him up. its in my gut and im sure its him. we used to go out everyday, but haven't seen him for 2 weeks until last night, at a party. i confronted him normally and calmly at the bar, and he just paniced and kept sayin i dont know what your talking about. after i elaborated on what i was saying he started to shout looking very stressed because he was caught out. he turned his back on me and refused to talk. now to me thats the sign of a guilty guy...plus i know he lies a lot to others and he tried using a similar tactic with me which didnt work..so he just turned his back and avoided conversation. what do u guys think?  



2 May 2006 @ 10:07 by Dr. Obscure @195.195.32.100 : When love hurts
Well, having read most of the articles above, I can see that there's really no other alternative to find if a loved one is lying than confrontation. I'm 20 and my gf is 18 we've been together for nearly 10 months. We havn't had a major row or arguement at all, we have had several "silent" times, where she would come home and not say a word all nite. Then she would annoy me and I won't speak to her. It's like that all the time. We both know the effects of being cheated on so we wouldn't do that to each other. But recently she tells me that this guy is always making sexual innuendos and comments about her ass and breasts. Which doesn't bother me that much because at the end of the day she's with me. But she tells me everyday, and it's like I don't really want to hear what this guy is saying. Unless she wants me2become jealous. I just don't know! and when she's on the net checking her emails I notice alot of xxxxxxxs and love hearts from people (some which are male) and it's abit shity sometimes especially when she closes the file as soon as she's seen me. Anyway thats what I'm going through with my relationship, Thak you 4taking the time to read this and I am open to any comments or advice  


7 May 2006 @ 06:14 by Lala @207.69.139.150 : LIES N MORE LIES... BLA BLA
Look ppl.. the truth is.. there's no sure fire way of KNOWING someones lying to you. I'ma liar sometimes, and I think I'm damn good at it.. I usually tell myself the story a couple times before I tell it to who ever i'm lying to.. make sure I believe it leave out unneeded details and any xtra information and I wont flinch in any unusual way because I am weird either way, I only lie when its necessary like do or die status.. but theres no REAL SIGNS. It's up to proof and evidence and action reaction... and it really depends on the person.. some can and some can't lie. this subject needs to die it has to be the longest thread I've ever seen on the web.  


26 May 2006 @ 08:21 by vidhi @205.156.188.254 : make out person lying on phone
how to make out that person is lying when he is on phone or he sends email or sms, when you actually cannot see him.
are there any tips to find this out?  



6 Jun 2006 @ 03:17 by qaz @210.8.54.33 : youre all stupid
oh my god, so my boyfriend has been like cheating on me for 3 years....I knew all along anyway, like who really cares..im hotter than them. Im like the hottest babe in the popular group at school...like so what if all the girls are jealous of me..oh my god. Game on moles!!!!!!!!! im not lying here but he was  


30 Jun 2006 @ 15:12 by jessica @213.165.171.40 : lieing
watch out if who you are talking to says they have to leave quickly and red faces even trebiling.  


18 Jul 2006 @ 00:32 by Meggipie @65.184.215.116 : gut...gut...gut
To All out there...Trust your gut!! It will tell you everything you need to know. Unless you're just crazy then (infact) you might be the liar.  


28 Sep 2006 @ 20:45 by Henry Bemis @216.100.91.2 : yup
this stuff works!!! i used it on my dog!!!  


28 Sep 2006 @ 20:50 by Henry Bemis @216.100.91.2 : yup
i just litsened to gunther he rockssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!! u touch my ding dong  


28 Sep 2006 @ 20:54 by gunther lover @216.100.91.2 : Gunther is the best
my favirote song is the wing wong song it goes u touch my wing wing wong i know everything about gunther he was born in russia and moved africa i kn ow everything his backup singers are the moonlight girls yaaaaaaaaaa  


2 Oct 2006 @ 17:02 by sara @208.182.75.11 : my boyfriend
Hi i need some advice about my boyfriend.ok weve been off and on since december 2005 but ive known him for 10 years and he got his ex g/f pregnant when we were split up and know hes changed his ways he acts like he cared more but im just confused cause i don't know if hes gonna leave me to be with her and the baby when she has it.and i was just wanting to know if i should leave him now or wait and see what happens??!!???  


16 Nov 2006 @ 05:38 by not telling @70.190.219.69 : how to tell
ask a question that would usually be answered with a contration. i.e didn't, wouldn't, couldn't. If the person does not use the contraction they are lieing. Forget about eye contact and nervous laughter. Unless you know how to establish a baseline it wont be acurate.  


18 Nov 2006 @ 16:11 by Jonagold @58.170.250.160 : is my girlfriend cheating?
ok me and my g/f have gone out 3 times she has cheated on me once, she confessed to it about 3 months after it happened then we broke up and another3-4months later we got back together we have been back together for about 1 and a half months now and some thing fishy is going on, im geting phone calls from private number saying things like " your b/f was a great root" and shit like that, its doing my head in. and when ever i ask her if she is or has cheated on me again she gets REALLY angry and flips out at me and tells me she is going to break up with me if i ask again. also there is this guy who says he likes her sister yet he always calles my g/f and talkes to her for ages... please help me im scared. email me back someone and let me no i need help on this. is she vheating on me or not?  


18 Nov 2006 @ 16:14 by jonagold @58.170.250.160 : typing error above
where it says "your b/f was a great root" its suposed to say g/f.. i need to start proof reading things :S PLEASE HELP ME THOUGH... email me asap  


14 Dec 2006 @ 16:26 by joe @172.142.27.36 : lies
just get a westie al of lives littlr problems wil disapeer  


19 Dec 2006 @ 02:05 by aley @207.148.150.156 : help please guys
so i recently got back together with a guy i used to just be fuck buddies with and we are now going out. anyways when we were just fuck buddys we would hang out maby once a week and and only ever talk on the phone when we were making plans to chill. But then he calls me up one day, we hang out and he tells me he missed me alot. now we talk basically every day and always wants to see me. Lately HEs geting really jealous and upset when anothre guy looks at me. he tells me he likes me and etc. but then he will go on about a female friend of his, talk about his ex gf's, or stare at another girl until i catch him in the act. not to be concieted or anything but i consider myself quite attractive. my bf is not a player hes 23 and has only slept with 4 girls so it really confuses me why he needs act like one. i am only 17 but i look alot older. if anyone could give me their opion on this it would be really awsome  


25 Dec 2006 @ 17:53 by some one who dont care @86.133.147.222 : fuk
the point people plz  


28 Dec 2006 @ 18:30 by Kay @167.127.104.11 : My Uncles Wife
My unlces wife has been caught many of times talking to her ex on the office computer and i was the one who caught her... but that was the past but ehre is something new... everytime my uncle has to work she has been going over to her mothers house (her mother is a lying person as well and very rude) she will stay over there until my uncle comes home from work and if he doesn't work she will refuse to go over to her mothers... some days she does not talk to anyone and stays back in her room and only comes out to smoke a cig. she has gotten my uncle to the point where he has to do all the house work and take care of HER kids.. (his steps daughters 8 and 3) this behavior is making me think there is something going on between her and her ex... what would you think?  


4 Jan 2007 @ 02:30 by Kellie @68.160.48.72 : YOU
Okay this is just a really bad bad website now my daughter who is 11 years old accuses me of lying and she told me she hates me thankz alot to the maker of this website i really mean it.  


4 Jan 2007 @ 03:03 by ming : Lying
Hm, yeah, this all doesn't really work well when people are over-simplifying it or taking it too literally. There are alternative reasons for all of the points mentioned.

One might avoid eye contact because one is kinesthetically oriented, and need to feel the truth inside oneself.

One might cross one's arms to be comfortable, or maybe to protect oneself, without it having anything to do with lying.

One's pupuls might shrink for a variety of reasons. The lighting, being tired.

Hands in one's face might just be a nervous habit, or one might have an itch.

Some people talk fast because they're eager to present what they have to say.

One might mumble because one is shy, or mispronounce because one is dyslexic.

Some people are just more friendly than you're used to. That doesn't necessarily mean they're faking it.

Liars do those things. But seeing one of these behaviors is in no way a proof that somebody's lying. You need something to compare with. Like, how people normally behave, or how they behave when saying something that is the truth.

Reading people's body language in any kind of reliable way takes a trained eye.

Lots of people try to pick one of these things and use it against each other. Bad idea.  



9 Jan 2007 @ 06:15 by Marcy @69.244.165.182 : My uncles wife Answer
I think your Aunt has depression... Which would cause things like cheating because depressed people like risk, Which would also explain her not taking care of the kids becuase depressed people just dont care & want to be left alone.... They are liars and tire to hide the depression with over sleeping, over eating, and watching TV all day... pretty much anything to keep the mind from thinking about life....  


13 Jan 2007 @ 03:34 by Nick G. Demendoza @192.251.125.85 : Disagree:9 ways to know someone is lying
I only agree with the body language #6, nodding no when saying "yes" and crossing arms is closed & protective, etc; but that doesn't mean they are lying! 9 of your points I disagree with now.
2 examples: People thought Jesus was lying and crazy, and he countered by showing them that he knew the Word and was the Word, even though he was not educated in letters nor the Holy Bible as a human being. In the Book of John they said to Jesus, 'How do you know Abraham, he was 50 years before you?' Jesus said, 'He was joyful to see me." Many still deny his existance as the Savior and Creator today. They still do not accept him, and yet he doesn't give up on them until their very last chance. Many people especially the Jews, Hebrews, and Muslims cause their own persecutions because of this, and it allows Satan to exploit their weaknesses through people. Do not deny Jesus Christ! Accept, acknowlege, and recognize him...
2nd example: Very many successful gamblers, who are not winners every time, utilize and study kinesiology in order to read their opponents habits and signs, etc. Some study at the Doctorate levels of education, such as the female in Las Vegas, who refuses to work in her small town convenient store. Her brother plays, also; and taught her the probability of cards... They are either from Wyoming or Montana, I think, but reside in the Las Vegas areas!
Remember, in the movie " OH GOD ", when George Burns - God played Satan in cards. I think it was Blackjack Poker and/or Poker. 5 card maybe...
Many successful card players, do not play the dealer, they play the cards!
Gamblers to Vegas, who play as a family, instead of against each other are statistically much more successful winners, than not. Just as stated by the videos, CD ROMS, and internet TV programs that teach Hotel Guest How to Play before going to the tables! I know a Brown family from Atlanta, GA that won
$4,000 during a trip to Las Vegas and this more than covered all 4 of their expenses very many years ago in the late 80's!
Atlanta, GA.'s Gov. Sonny Perdue just signed a bill, legislation, and/or funding the 2nd week of Jan. '07, that will Promote Georgia's Hunting and
Fishing Markets. This is a very big and successful attraction that also goes into the boating and camping industries. All include the production and sales of magazines, tools, totes bags, printing, and banners along with hospitality, conventions and trade shows... Atlanta has over 17,000,000 visitors each year and Vegas 14,000,000. Atlanta has 5,000,000 people residing in a 60 mile radius and over 9,000,000 people in the State of GA. We have over 3,000,000 drivers passing and commuting through ATL. The Int'l. airport has over 767,800 metric tons of cargo coming into and out of Atl., GA by 2005 stats. which were down 15.4% approximately. 2006 was higher! This is why DHL, Exel, FedEx, UPS, Dynamex and TNT all have major operations in Atl. Our MARTA system is upgrading their transit software currently...
That is a growing populus with a huge influx from the World, the Mid Atlantic States, and the Gulf States in GA. There are too many cultures,idiocincracies, habits, temperments, aptitudes, and personalities to read them all, so I disagree strongly with 9 of the ways to tell when someone is lying. Don't make the common mistake of profiling a person in the wrong manner. Eharmony profiling proves this to us all! Get to know yourself with a free profile soon. It is work and a course in all of the Psychologies! Your own family, brothers, sisters, relatives, and co-workers probably do not even know the real you. Maybe you don't either!
Verify, clarify, confirm, and make sure that information is correct, accurate, real, honest, and the Truth.
Board of Directors at major financial institutions have been fooled by M&A executives. Intelligence agencies have been fooled, or have they?
War Games in a Shell Game in the Real Game of Life!
Derivative Contracts! Braveheart video productions^ and Enron^~)_ bankruptcy... Delta Airlines spends less than $350,000,000/quarter on jet fuel! Companies want to acquire them for $8 - $12+ Billion. Talk about fuel costs! WOW! Their stock per share was recently .56 to $1.60+... M&A's, MBA's......  



13 Jan 2007 @ 03:47 by Nick G. Demendoza @192.251.125.85 : Over 2,042 Nuc tests in 51 yrs.-Newsweek
Both atmospheric and underground by very many companies, people, and countries including over 1/2 by the USA according to Newsweek 10-23-06 pgs. 28 - 31, etc. and the History of A Ambitions! The World has been contaminated by carcinogenics all over the Earth already, but do not worry because without factoring out the leap years the Lord's Day should be around 23069, since there are 1,000 generations from Christ onward and we are at the 80th approxiamately. We will head further into Star Trek, Star Wars, The Jetsons, etc. Sound from the Voyager left the Black Hole! Satellites communicate with each other utilizing Cisco IP Routers Networks and very high te
ch microchips... Men, Women, animals, and bacteria from Earth live in space already! Etc.  



16 Jan 2007 @ 14:20 by baseball#2 @72.146.14.64 : thanks
thanks for your help  


10 Feb 2007 @ 21:45 by chad @69.245.172.44 : on lying
I have to say, although I haven't read every persons comment on here, the views are very interesting. I have my own dilemna in trying to let the truth be known to someone. However when I went to tell the truth I apparently did everything the opposite of the way that is supposed to indicate that you are telling the truth. 1. I looked down out of shame and remorse, in a way of searching my feelings without trying to appear demanding to my ex-girlfriend. 2. I crossed my arms, but hey it was winter and I was cold as I was outside on the porch, and she was in her doorway. 3. I don't know if my pupils narrowed or not, but I do know that I barely gave any eye-contact, which to me was a from of displaying my vulnerability and humility. 4. I talked fast, but like I said, I was cold and in a hurry to get my apology and the truth out there, so I could return to my warm car. Not that I wasn't sincere in my apology or being truthful. I laughed a little, but I feel that I was using laughter to try and lighten the mood, though it didn't work. So I can see that these ideas are bogus. But after reading this, I can see that if my ex has a belief in these body language structures how she would have misinterpreted my head down out of shame and remorse for lying. Next for Pete, way toward the top, I believe that you may have been lying to yourself. You say that you always know when people are lying. Nothing could ever be further from the truth. In reality you must have presupposition of beliefs of what it means when a person lies, and based upon those beliefs you assume that you can tell the truth. However instead of really searching for the truth, you don't feel that you have to, because you can always tell when a person is lying. Give me a break. That's impossible. You only believe that you know when a person is lying. Whether or not they actually are lying or not seems to make no difference because you will deny yourself of even questioning it. Your position on gut feeling is very interesting. Gut feelings can be wrong. Did you know that? They can be. I have once had a gut feeling that a person I met was going to be rude and insensitive. Later on he became one of my closest friends. We can't always rely on our feelings. Feelings, thoughts, beliefs, none of this has anything to do with absolute truth. After all truth is still truth whether you believe it or not, even if you don't feel that it is a good idea to eat an apple a day, the truth is still that it is healthier to do so than not to do so. This subject of honesty has come tyo mind alot lately and I intend on putting up a less critical post tommorrow.  


14 Feb 2007 @ 06:59 by Raidan @69.245.172.44 : name change due
Do the fact that another Chad is already present, I will therefore go Raidan. I am the chad in lower case right above this posting, and not the Chad with the capitol C up above, just for clarification. To those who know me will be able to figure this portion out "rehsif-cafe". Anyway I've learned that it is hard to stand by the truth sometimes in spite of the consequence. Let the journey continue onward until we have solved the mystery.  


27 Feb 2007 @ 02:38 by harley @216.166.159.185 : ???
i need a focking science expirement, and i need in focking now.  


25 Mar 2007 @ 08:52 by James.A.B @122.2.34.125 : LALA
Most people get stressed during a time when they are framed, or, sometimes scared or nervous, their blood Pressure rises and then it sometimes will make people act
unusually different. For example, a little kid is sitting near his/her crush, they tend to act "weird". Lying also tends to get people nervous, scared or stressed, though you also can feel similliar for being scared or nervous that they might punish you for something you didn't do, also angry, maybe been framed too much.  



2 May 2007 @ 21:08 by Interesting @76.170.242.211 : good points
This is some good pointers on how to tell if someone is lying. I think the best lie detectors are law enforcement professionals and women seem to be better at spotting lies than men. Here is another article on the subject. [link]  


14 May 2007 @ 14:48 by rayaheen @195.69.210.9 : this
you can make the web bettter to add some more clear informaition  


19 May 2007 @ 10:27 by GEOBESTPHONES @77.70.128.140 : RETRIEVE INFORMATION ON PHONES/CODES
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GETTING YOUR BOY-FRIEND OR GIRL-FRIEND PASSCODE, CAUGHTING WHO IS CHEATING ON YOU GOING INTO ANY TYPE OF CELL PHONE ACCOUNT,
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22 May 2007 @ 10:08 by Gitterbug @67.172.185.204 : Lair! Lair!
Well, 1st off I just want to say that there are so many different kinds of people in the world... and you would really have to be able to read minds or astral project to tell if someone is really being untruthful with you or any body that is if you don't catch them on the act( with the use of gagets or detectives and what not)...anyway you can't tell a lair, usually the face will get a flustered look comming from an increase in body temperture rising from the heated degree of being exposed and caught off guard also his heart will be slightly elevated if not dramatically. I feel a good way a good way to catch someone in a lie first you should look at the response of the actions by checking out how they act when you know something to be true of them (as they answer it honestly )then surprise them with a off the wall aligation (wait for their response )and then proceed to ask the true question of your most important inquiry(wait for the response,and observe actions closely) then play like you were just joking all along and you believe them (of course you don't really have to) look at thier actions are they offended,relieved or still confused,or are they completely just not caring, either way all of those mean they are probaly guity as sin just leave them and don't tell them why you left them just leave them hanging but before you do that show them a excellent time that will make them fall head over hills in love with you all over again then walk out on them ,or make sure they are the ones that spend the doe for wasting your precious time...or just do the same to them if you are into that kind of stuff then whatever they are doing won't seem so wrong just never trust them again once a liar always a lair!and don't waste each other time!And for heaven sake don't be so naive..later folks and good luck!  


13 Jul 2007 @ 16:21 by Memnoch @76.167.227.22 : Lies and Liars
I’m amused by how many people have stated in their comments that “they are a good liar”. The truth is most people are pretty bad liars, and people who lie a lot usually lie to themselves about how clever they are and delude themselves into thinking they are very good at manipulating the people around them. Moreover, there are many people out there, like myself, who will know perfectly well when someone is lying to them, but we won’t expose them and will let the liar believe they’ve gotten away with it because there is a certain power in knowing someone underestimates you - without letting them know you know.
Even the good liars eventually get caught because they simply cannot control all the sources of information that will eventually contradict and expose their deceit.
In my personal experience I find that you should trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right it normally isn’t, but people will ignore their gut and rationalize the misleading information given to them because they want to believe someone they care about is not lying to them. In essence, the person being lied to ends up lying to themselves to justify their sensibilities about the world instead of accepting the reality that the person they care about may not have the requisite integrity or character to warrant actually caring about them.  



26 Jul 2007 @ 02:27 by Meghan @72.65.81.83 : my bf is moving away
i think my bf cody is lying about him leaving tomorrow.....he told me that he needed to tell me something that i probably wouldnt like....and he started laughing when he was done telling me....i think he's screwin around with me because he would have been packing and not riding his bike....i dont know what to do or say....what should i say to hi if he's lying?  


10 Aug 2007 @ 18:59 by James @76.184.22.243 : The Meeting Spot
Im a gay male,I met another man on a gay chat site,we decided to meet up and learn more about each other no sex involved. We have been talking for almost three months now,two months into the relationship we talked about deleting our accounts on the sites and so we both did just that at the same time,however i have been having very suspicious feelings about this man and what did I do I opened up a bogus account just to see if he might be creeping I did not find him as I know him but I did run across a profile that has got me very nervous the peson looks like him..same age..same height..same weight and even the bio sounds like something he would say..I even went to the extreme of taking pictures putting them side by side and comparing them to one another im 150% convinced that it's him so I confront him about it and I ask him "look man i opened up a bogus account to see if you might still be on the site and I ran across this profile that fits you to the T" he says "oh really let me look it up" I said "ok this is the persons screen name" so he goes and looks it up and mind you in the past when we had any type of missunderstanding and I accused him of something (cause I do have a hard time trusting people) he would get very upset and raise his voice saying things like no no no...thats not right etc etc...Which struck a nerve in me...But not this time when I confronted him about this profile and the pictures on the profile that looks just like him and even sound like him in the typings,he remained very calm,so I thought to myself hmmm this is not usuall for him to react this way unless im wrong and he's right..or could it be that it's the other way around? I almost lost him over this,but it's just KILLING me not knowing for sure if that is his profile or not,so I sit up all night for hours just looking at what pics i know are him and the pics of this person Im assuming is him..Im still convinced it's him..mind you I almost lost him over this...thats when I started questioning myself..I would say "self are you crazy,this man is sitting here telling me thats not him but why can't i let this go?" I would not care if it's him or not,but whats eating me up is why he wont just tell me the truth about it, so I sit on the phone with him asking telling him those exact words over and over and asking him why he is doing this to me "why can't you just tell me the truth" mind you this is the type of person that will lie to his family and tell him he is one place when he is really somewhere else..and I always have been a believer that a person that will lie to those that are close to them they will lie to anybody...and plus who am I to him..Im just some dude he is just talking to and just met. As a matter of fact I had a moment today about this. He comes to my house stays a week straight at a time, "why are you here" I ask him..no straight answer..what Im looking to hear is " well im here cause I enjoy spending time with you and I want to be around you alot" not the case it's "man why are asking me that" I can never get a straight answer from him no matter how hard I try...mind you he is a very "Religious" person..watch out for those that use the WORD to get their way. Oh and while he was here at my house I would go in under my bogus account and check to see when the last time that person was signed in...the whole time he was here that person had not signed in..but the day after I took him home that person is signed in..HMMMMM Know im no fool I would like to think that I have a good vibe about people..And I often try to ignore my instincts because I feel like they may be a result of some insecurites I may have. Today I spoke with him about this on the phone..I even went to the extreme of asking him to set up a meeting with this person so i can see them side by side in peron just so I will know for sure..and guess what he said..I'll do that but no details as to when or how..Hmmmmm...I asked him ok..."and when you set this meeting up and I see you both side by side then what" he says I don't know he says Ill probably just bust out shouting. Oh yeah and when he was at my house I pulled up that persons profile right in front of his face and asked him if that was him or not..once again he says no..but his body language changed..his eyes got still..his body movement became still..he just set there and staired that person picture and continued to tell me not thats not him...but never looked at me mind you...So today I called it off..I mean Iv tried to be there for this man cause he is going through some messed up stuff right now...trying to help him get to where he needs to be so far as doctors..Trying to just be a positive person in his life and be supportive and caring...But I feel like maybe I expected to much to soon and may have set myself up for this...But that does not matter to me..NO MATTER WHAT ALWAYS TELL ME THE TRUTH..IM JUST ONE OF THOSE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU CAN BE HONEST TO NO MATTER WHAT THE ISSUE IS. IM A VERY UNDERSTAND NON JUDGEMENTAL OPEN MINDED PERSON. So why does he continue to lie to me about this..if he still wants to be out there and play fine..but just let me know so I can move on...DON'T HOLD PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE AND LIE TO THEM WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT PERSON DOES NOT FULLFILL YOU. Damn I just don't get it..Im going to miss that man though..It's going to be hard getting over him and getting use to him not being around, I just hope my instincts are right...IM still 150% sure thats him...  


12 Sep 2007 @ 22:01 by Andy @82.35.169.155 : Trust
Trust is the biggest issue in my life relationship (like every1's that cares about their partner).. I have been with my GF for a year and a half now. And we've only had a few big problems with trust. Seems like im the only one though that gets the problems of the jealousy. OHhh i hate relationships sometimes..

Why cant everyone be faithful and kind hearted. :(  



6 Nov 2007 @ 18:47 by Rick @70.44.99.71 : untrusting girlfriend
Hello all, I am currently going through an amicable divorce after 20 years, and 3 beautiful daughters. I started to see a woman who is going through the divorce from hell last year. I have had phone contact and personal contact with my soon to be ex-wife 2 or 3 times over the past year. Sunday, I met with my daughter for breakfast, and my wife stopped by to provide me with a new healthcard, as I am disabled, waiting for my backsurgery. My girlfriend looked through my cell phone and saw the message my wife left, and my short answer. However she is telling me that she had a friend call her and tell her that she saw me with my soon to be ex-wife having breakfast, when in fact,my daughter and I were just about finished when my wife stopped by. She didn't even sit down. She now has told me that I should have shared that with her, even though it had no affect on her and was an insignifigant meeting. She now has accused me of hiding other contacts I may have had with my wife and has accused me of lying. She has checked my cell phone in the past, and their was contact with my wife concerning administrative issues related to our divorce. She is now telling me she is planning to go out with an old boyfriend that she ran into recently, and tells me our relationship is over. I'm confused, hurt and I think she is lying about a phone call from a friend who saw us in the diner. Any help or guidance would be helpful...thank-you  


6 Nov 2007 @ 20:51 by bushman : lol
Hmm, out of the frying pan into the fire, lol. What you think would happen? Did you even think to talk to the other ex husband? Never ever get hooked up with a woman that has control issues. Rule of thumb, finish the project your doing, then move on and do the next project.  


13 Nov 2007 @ 07:52 by dodo @203.184.45.149 : well
me and my gf been on and off over past year or so, she lies alot ... and ive known it and dragged it out of her either through emotional and phycologically like many of you have said above... and shes still not stopping the lying even though i know when she is now and its really obvious and i just cant be bothered trying anymore or asking her to tell the truth for like the millionth time. When really i could just have lost all trust in her and be mistaken?  


29 Dec 2007 @ 04:10 by Kelly @24.88.92.47 : Need help please!!
What would any of you do if you were pregnant by a guy you were going out for like two years and he broke up with you while you were pregnent its realy a long story, but he doesn't want to be with you but still wants to see you use to want to have sex with you no longer really does....doesn't seem like there is anyone he comes around alot but I accuse him of girls cause I have caught him in lies about other girls while we were together....he says he broke up with me cause I drove him crazy accusing him, but he would mess with other girls I caught him one time because he accidently left a message on my phone of him and his friend talking about this girl he had been talking to at the bar and how she was digging him and he didn;t have to lie to her...but I'm sure he didn't tell her about his girlfriend huh?? anyways I'm curious what should I do about him...I love him but I'm about to have a baby and he doesn't want to be with me. Should I cut my ties with him I feel I'm only going to continue to get hurt....?? HELP  


18 Apr 2008 @ 20:16 by momma @172.134.176.17 : what do u think?
I've been w/this guy for 5 years and I have 2 kids by him. I just found out that he has cheated on me but it was 2 years ago. He denies it but I have very relable people who told me otherwise with great details of what happened. How do i get the truth out and what do you think I should do?  


19 May 2008 @ 15:49 by chance @74.12.250.34 : school
yo thes helpt me get out fo a big fight buy me telling the pirncebal thes signs so thank you  


20 May 2008 @ 17:35 by Anthony Deschenes @169.244.143.119 : Im dating my best friends ex,
She said they never had sex and he said the same thing. To me that is.. apparently he told a guy in are school that they had sex. I can't get the info from him cause he'll say no to me. Idk about her though because I really love her and if she did I won't find anything about her attractive. Because I feel like shes lieing to me about a lot already. I'm and "Emo" I use to cut myself but I stopped right about now the only thing I have going for me is my gf but I seriously want to know if she had sex with him. If she did it would make things extremely hard to comprehend. I'm only 15 by the way. My mother was a drug addict so now I live with my best friend which makes it hard to talk to her on the computer with out him watching. I need to know how to tell if someone is lying over the phone. and quickly too. When shes on the phone with my best friend they talk openly to each other about stupid things. which is a good sign they have done something together. When shes on the phone with me she always gets mad because we have nothing to talk about. which is a good sign that shes only dating me so I don't kill myself. When me and her are together though shes always on top of me or pulling me on top of her. it's like all she wants to do is make out and do other things. Am I being used? OR not? I have her best friends word. She pissed off her best friend one day and now her best friend tells me a lot. But I feel I can't trust her either. I mean why would she tell me if My best friend and her best friend had sex? Honestly I think my gf would have told her but also told her not to tell me. But I waited 3 months to start dating her which makes it even harder. On the phone she tells me to Shut Up a lot and it's easy to tell when shes lieing. I can tell when shes smiling on the phone. An example I can give is this Gf "I love you more" Me"Your lieing" Gf"No I'm not" Me"Yes you are I can tell because your smiling" Gf"Shut up." How can I use this to my advantage? I need some help. I thought about going to her cousin because I've known her cousin since the second grade. But how could I tell her cousin to ask her if she had sex with my best friend with out her finding out I was there? Her cousin is kind of slow.... she'd blurt it right out. and I can't do it on the phone at home because I live with my best friend. I really need to know how to sort this out.  


10 Jun 2008 @ 11:27 by Fraggle @158.234.250.71 : Lieng
People are born liers. I dont trust anyone. If you tell anyone anything they have to go and tell someone, the only person you can be sure is not lieing to you are your parents. I have friends who cheat all the time, morning noon and night and lie bare faced to there girlfriends. women are as bad its just they dont get caught out as often.  


26 Aug 2008 @ 22:24 by daniel @24.44.232.72 : cooolll
thanks  


13 Dec 2008 @ 19:46 by Mary @151.204.153.247 : Signs of Lying
I had someone lie to me this week, a young person (supposedly too young to have perfected lying). None of these fit. I am in disbelief and keep looking up "How to Tell if Someone's Lying," but nothing fits. Like much of human nature, it's an inexact science.
I also know of quite a few nervous, yet honest, people who would fit these clues far better than liars I've met. Most of the articles do instruct that some people are just like this and to account for normal mannerisms.
The bottom line is, in my opinion, that if someone is not very smart or (especially) not very self-disciplined, then yes, body language can help to expose lies. But a disciplined person can lie with ease, according to what I've seen this week. It saddens me that people are like this.  



16 Apr 2009 @ 09:24 by Prunella @203.92.64.97 : Airline
Could you help me. I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
I am from Uganda and too poorly know English, tell me right I wrote the following sentence: "Cheap flights, airline tickets, last minute airline tickets to europe, caribbean north america more on sale now! Find the best fares on tickets."

Thanks for the help :(, Prunella.  



18 Apr 2009 @ 00:29 by Sharon @203.92.64.97 : kitchen islands
Hi guys. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Help me! Help to find sites on the: kitchen islands. I found only this - Budget kitchen islands. Time finding cheap airline tickets than they. American airlines offers discount airfares and cheap airline tickets to the usa all year round. With love :-), Sharon from Croatia.  


18 Apr 2009 @ 04:46 by Mel @203.92.64.97 : kitchen islands
Sorry. If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play. Help me! I can not find sites on the: kitchen islands. I found only this - Innovative kitchen islands. Cheap airline tickets to all central asian destinations such as tashkent almaty discounted airline tickets are also available from almost all major us cities. You can find fantastic deals on hundreds of cheap flights from hundreds. Thank :confused: Mel from East.  


30 Aug 2009 @ 23:56 by Kevin @91.142.51.39 : MI
My ex is in Army Military Intelligence, an interrogator, and was also the most insecure and jealous person I have ever met in my 28 years on this planet. Bad combination. She always used to use her stupid "MI tactics" to try to draw lies out of me, for no other reason it seemed like but for practice and her own personal amusement. So I remember one specific time she was trying to "catch me in the act" like the super sleuth she thought she was. She asked me straight up if I was cheating on her. This question was completely unexpected and totally ludicrous, so it caught me completely off guard. I instantly started laughing and told her no. When I wasn't at work, I was with her. There was no lost time anywhere. There's no way I could have cheated on her even if I wanted to. The laughing of course set off a huge red flag in her stupid army-brainwashed head that I was lying because I laughed and she called me out on it. From that point on I was persecuted day in and day out. All because I was asked a dumbass question that made me laugh. My point is that a lot of these tips on lying are fucking retarded. Get to know a person's habits. And even then, you may be wrong. I've learned that for me, 90%+ of the time, when I've gone with my gut, I've found out later that I've been right.  


14 Oct 2009 @ 13:19 by Ronny @99.236.21.203 : FBI Truth Test
This cyberdating.net/glen_truth1.html seems like a good product. Does anybody have it?  


6 Jun 2010 @ 19:07 by HottoH @24.72.60.249 : INSTINCT
Concept of general instincts of the human behaviour can be understood with positives and negatives. ex) Jimmy knows he is honest and feels and catches lies but cannot prove them. Tara is not honest but doesnt come out of the closet she gets angry very fast. Jimmy is + and Tara is - . +'s and -'s attract. A confused person will Instinctively know whats going on in any case but will not make the decision to accept what is known as it is.(letting go) A person who is lieing Instinctively knows the other person knows about w/e the case especially when confronted on the given topic of choice. Tara for example knows her faults and the stress of secrecy dulls her memory and makes her sloppy, meanwhile Jimmy notices changes in her vocabulary and behaviour.(only effective with no paranoia) Essentially a set up is the key choice to catch a lier. The only way to do this being the + is to not ask or show in any subtle way you suspect anything to the - or anybody. This waythey dont see anything comeing at all. Moveing on is the best bet if you have these feelings or suspicions about anything or anyone because, their life has nothing to do with your life and if your that attached you are also in the - and have done your share of wrong. - Q - Littleman_pyro@hotmail.com email me to learn the most effective way to find out anything using talking without talking or NLP + PRS.  


7 Sep 2010 @ 17:00 by Taylor @108.8.114.88 : lieing
Hi my name is taylor and ive been seening my boyfriend for alittle over a year just a month ago i got this blocked call saying my boyfriend was sleeping with some girl. The next day when i asked him about it he denyed it . Finally after asking him about it for a couple weeks he told me he ment some girl and was talking to her for a week . He said they talked about hooking up but never did, i have this really bad feeling he did though . I dont know how to tell if hes lieing or not.  


29 Sep 2010 @ 18:46 by world of warcraft account @122.50.200.178 : http://www.buymmoaccounts.com/
The author has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: No truth is universal, everything has its exception. Thanks for the info.  


29 Sep 2010 @ 18:47 by world of warcraft account @122.50.200.178 : hi
I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work.  


11 Oct 2010 @ 19:17 by Online Casino @122.50.200.137 : hi
Thank you for another essential article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such a complete way of writing? I have a presentation incoming week, and I am on the lookout for such information.  


12 Apr 2011 @ 06:50 by steve @76.64.139.219 : cool
I found better ways to tell if they're lying [link]  


25 Apr 2011 @ 17:45 by Jazmin @66.90.176.19 : Science Fair
I'm doing a Science Fair project who would lie more frequently; Thge makle mor the female subject and wanted to know can anybody give me any pointers. Please Email me!

~ Andy's girl  



25 Apr 2011 @ 17:51 by Unknown @66.90.176.19 : Crazy
u all a bunch of crazy ass bitches tryin 2 find out if ur bf or gf is cheating on u. if u think they are then they don't want u no more. face the fuckin truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  


25 Apr 2011 @ 17:54 by Pearson @66.90.176.19 : Love
I don't know waht ur talking about cuz me and my man, Will are going to live happily ever after why don't u face th truth u lonely as bitch.  


14 Jul 2011 @ 14:48 by JAMES CEEYU @41.202.24.9 : RETRIEVING INFORMATION FROM CELL PHONE
IF YOU NEED HELP RETRIEVING INFORMATION FROM A CELL PHONE LIKE INCOMING/OUTGOING TEXT MESSAGES,DELETED TEXT MESSAGES,ONLINE ACCOUNT PASSCODES,VOICEMAIL PASSCODE,EMAIL PASSWPRODS, CLONING OF CELL PHONES ,TRACKING ANY MOBILE CELL NUMBER AND MANY MORE,YOU CAN CONTACT AT JCEEYU@YAHOO.COM  


1 Jan 2013 @ 17:12 by Joseph @182.178.30.108 : Excellent
I visited plenty of site but I conceive this 1 contains something special in it in itWriting hunt
 



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Other stories in
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2007-02-24 14:13: Wikipatterns



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