Ming the Mechanic:
The U.S.A.R.
The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
 The U.S.A.R.2004-11-05 05:27
11 comments
by Flemming Funch

Great idea from BoingBoing:
MY MODEST PROPOSAL: THE U.S.A.R.
By C. B. Shapiro

I feel bad for the Red States.

Yes, they won the White House, Congress, the Supreme Court and most of the state houses. But they still can't have the country they really want because the last few Blue States won't roll over. So I am making a simple proposal:

Secession. Divorce. Splitsville.

Personally, I think we made a huge mistake not letting them go when we had the chance back in 1862. Well, no time like the present to correct an old mistake.

Then, they would finally be free to have the kind of society they've always wanted; church and state can be fused so they build the kind of theocracy they've dreamt of, with Jesus at the helm. Then the new USAR (United States of America Red) can ban books, repeal civil rights, persecute gays and have all the wars they like. They want prayer in schools? More power to them. They can ban abortion and post the Ten Commandments in every federal building in their country. Bring back slavery, if they want. We'll be free to live with our like-minded countrymen who believe in science, modernism, tolerance, religion as a personal choice, and truly want limited government intrusion in our personal lives. Why should each side be driven mad by the other any more, decade after decade?

Call the Culture War a tie and everyone go home.

Of course, we in the U.S.A.B. get the Gross Domestic Product, businesses and universities of California, New York, Massachussetts -- basically the whole Northeast and Northwest (plus Illinois and Michigan if they want to come along). They get Wal-Mart and Duke and most of the Nascar tracks. But they can feel free to import movies, TV shows, financial services, and defense technology. We'll import country music, bibles and Confederate flags.

The two countries will by necessity have open immigration policy: anyone who feels they are living in the wrong country can just move across the border, no questions asked.

Ultimately, why should I have to convince my fellow countrymen that Darwin may have had a point and that the word “liberal” is not equivalent to “godless communist?” And why should they be forced to live in a country with morally corrupt non-believers? I'll stay in the messy, free-thinking U.S.A.B. And to the U.S.A.R. I say…

God bless you all, and see you at the U.N



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11 comments

5 Nov 2004 @ 06:53 by Jon Husband @24.87.29.109 : For a Lot of Americans ...
...it might not be quite that simple. In an age of instant thinking, quick analyis, black-and-white, either/or ... it can be useful to look at a slightly more informative map of the dynamics that recently played out in the election.

http://www.princeton.edu/~rvdb/JAVA/election2004/  

5 Nov 2004 @ 12:16 by spiritseek : War of the North and South
Will it take a war to create the separation of ideals or be very simple? Your asking the rich and powerful to give up a big chunk of realstate. It would make for a nice utopia of like minded but not without struggles and compromises to be made for a long time. Maybe using the Constitution as it was meant to be used or writing a new one with a more openness to personal choices.Count me in when and if such a thing becomes a possibility.  

5 Nov 2004 @ 12:19 by shawa : Re/Jon Husband´s link above
Thank god, on this map the country doesn´t break down on the extremes, nice tapestry of violets, lol!  

5 Nov 2004 @ 20:55 by i2i : Like a thornbush in a drunkard's hand
I am glad to see that at least some people manage to retain a sense of humor in the midst of all this.

A friend just sent me this {link:http://www.newciv.org/pic/nl/artpic/232/000232-000310.jpg|map} --- Running with C. B. Shapiro's proposal, here, and taking it one step further, I guess. LOL

Hmmm...maybe not as "informative" (or is it, now?) as Jon Husband's link above, but then again, we were never promised "a bed of violets," lol --- or should that be "a bed of roses," Shawa?

And speaking of Bibleland---and roses---the Bible says somewhere (Proverbs 26:9):

"Like a thornbush in a drunkard's hand is a proverb in the mouth of a fool."

Meaning that even sharp insights can be dangerous and open to misinterpretation and abuses when used by the wrong hands. The Bible can be quoted by anyone for his or her own purposes. (In its pages there are passing references to the evils of everything from women to shellfish---but far from being a biblical literalist, Jesus himself drew a sharp distinction between the transient and permanent teachings contained in the scriptures.) This is true of the Bible as it is true of almost anything---not because anything is wrong with religion or the Bible, but because something is wrong with some people who quote the Bible or use religion in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Just as roses are lovely except when a drunk is waving them around, so the Bible (I am specifically thinking of The New Testament) can be wonderful except when a fool is waving it around.

This is the second time in a row our Presidential Election holds the world transfixed---people in Europe and elsewhere are discovering an America that is not the America they thought they knew, the one they were told about in text books in high school or the one they discovered on their own, through exposure to our culture, fashion, and the music and movie industries.

In 2000, the power of Corporate Media and its influence on the political process came under scrutiny. This year, it's the power of the Church---and, to many Christians in the rest of the world, the discovery of a strange, unfamiliar, "made in America" brand of Christianity.  

5 Nov 2004 @ 23:01 by astrid : Yes, Ming....
.... I get your allegorical drift here: Let the Cosmic Law of Like attract Like finally play Itself out the way it is intended!.... It will so anyway one day.... That day be better here by our participation and while we still can think at all!... Next time the Q comes up, we'll might all be gone --as in terminated by our Hand, so to speak! "LIKE UNTO LIKE, DOTH UNIVERSE CRIES!" ...though Ming, ....I'm afraid we'd have to allow for a CALEIDOSCOPic FLOWER of Kindred Spirits-Groups....to blossom up where ever each felt naturally drawn... Yes, back to the "Tribal" Living BUT with a much more sophisticated= Higher Cosmic AWAREness than after the FALL(Out of GRACE,) after the Moral Decay- Corruption-Blow-Out that took down Atlantis... Today we have caught up with all that Spiritual Understanding that we lost when we DEVOLVED....(Did Darwin ever say these Things????..... Not as I remember..... but he was a pitful drunken and a avid Woman -and over all LIFE Hater!!!!) So we this time around ( yes vaxen!... a kiss from me) : TTA we would be better equipped to it all RIGHT!!!! ....provided we paly according to the Cosmic Law of LIKE ATTRACTS ALIKE.... Birds of Same Feather.... well you know them all.... why not follow their advice. Right on Ming!  

6 Nov 2004 @ 04:12 by ming : Globalism
I think that much of the friction in the world is from trying to all sail in the same boat when we don't all do it the same way, and we don't agree on where we're going, and how. It would really be much simpler if were free to hang out with the folks who lived according to similar rules, and we were free to avoid those who didn't. A law of free mobility essentially. Voting with our feet. If you want to live one way, go over here. If you want to live another way, go over there. We're not really ready for a global world that tries to be the same everywhere. It doesn't represent the truth. A country is too crude a division. We should be free to pick the town that fits our worldview.

For one thing, the "terrorists" are mostly just people who want to be left alone. Or rather, they want their particular society to be left as it is, without being meddled in by globalizing mono-culture forces.

And the reactionary groups in the U.S. just want to live a certain way and be sure there are no gay marriages in their neighborhood, or whatever it is they don't like. They should be perfectly free to do that, and provide a list of dos and donts that are a prerequisite for joining their community. As long as their members are free to go somewhere else if they no longer want to play. As long as there's somewhere else to go.

When that freedom doesn't exist, people mistakenly believe they have to go to the highest levels, to force everybody to do it the same way, or to stop everybody from doing it the "wrong" way. Where really what they probably want is just for their own local area to be a certain way.  

6 Nov 2004 @ 19:45 by Logan @4.31.1.72 : As long as there's somewhere else to go

Ay, there's the rub.

Here is the theoretical problem in a nutshell: A man is destitute. He used to be a farmer, but the landlord chased him off. He has to do something to make a living, and he is quite willing to hire himself out. He is “over a barrel”, as they say. The early industrial capitalist steps in with a “deal”. He will pay you just enough to make a bare living for yourself – in exchange for working every minute of the day you aren’t asleep. If that doesn’t sound like a very good deal to the wage earner, well, he doesn’t have to take it. Some other destitute newly landless peasant will be happy for the “opportunity” to avoid starvation.

Such is the case of the Dalits in India (one example amongst so many---the Western world has its "Dalits" too, it's a matter of degree.) The Dalits or the former non-citizens, were accorded formal citizenship only very recently, when India evolved into a Republic in 1950. Dalits constitute one fourth (16.48 % SCs / 8.08 % STs ) of India's total population - more than the population of France, UK, and Germany put together.

As per the census report ( 1991 ), of the total landless agricultural labourers in the country, 45.23 % are Dalits. That means, almost every second landless agricultural labourer in the country is a Dalit. Further, to narrate their plight in a more clearer terms, it will be in order to state that, of the total Dalit Main Work Force in the Primary sector, 63.54 % SCs and 36.32 % STs are landless agricultural labourers.

On the education front, Dalits` position is no better. Of the total Dalit population, 62.59 % SCs and 70.40 % STs are illiterate, and formal education (matric and above) among literate Dalits cannot be more than 8 per cent. The English literacy amongst Dalits must be nominal, and computer literacy still a day-dream.
 

7 Nov 2004 @ 00:29 by ming : It's a jungle
It is strange and foreign to me, indeed, that people can live in a mindset that excludes caring about other people who have serious social disadvantages. Oh, I can get the idea that it would be best to inspire people to do well on their own, and be independent and successful. But I can't wrap my mind around any strategy that involves at the same time deliberately structuring things to make it harder for such folks. The many people who indeed don't have any other place to go.

The assumption that those not doing well can just sort of get themselves together if enough pressure is put on them is at best misguided. Really, it is rather cruel. And very un-christian.

To me it is like people still living in an animalistic world. An eat or be eaten kind of thing. Where really I kind of thought we would have evolved to something more sophisticated. Lots of people haven't noticed, though, and it isn't real for them. So they're content with their nice little hut in the jungle, with a big fence around it.  

7 Nov 2004 @ 05:38 by ov : Check confirmed
I saw this map of how the world would have voted and Alberta is one of the few places outside of USA that went with Bush. Not sure how long this picture will last so maybe somebody can preserve it. {link:www.livejournal.com/users/tleeves/85644.html|Red And Blue World Map}  

7 Nov 2004 @ 18:43 by ming : Maps
Alright, so here are some of those maps mentioned, in a local copy.

First the map Jon linked to, showing a more fine-grained view of how people voted in the US:
{pic:1|center}

Then we have the United States of Canada
{pic:2|center}

And then we see how people in countries across the world would have voted:
{pic:3|center}

I've seen more interesting maps recently, but somewhat along similar lines.  

10 Feb 2005 @ 00:59 by nate @134.250.61.169 : Map is incorrect
The world map is false. The Phillipines (and perhaps Venezuela) would have elected GW Bush, as would have micronesian Islands, according to BBC polls.
But, this doesn't matter. Americans vote for their leader, not anyone else.  

Other stories in
2011-11-24 00:54: Blind and Automatic Punishment
2011-11-19 22:50: Corruption
2007-03-16 01:50: Logic and the Autobahn
2007-01-22 21:14: The Century of the Self
2006-12-12 21:43: Le Web 3
2006-12-11 00:14: Software and Community in the Early 21st Century
2006-12-04 21:42: Troubadours and the Singable Earth Charter
2006-10-26 18:11: A message from DHS
2006-02-09 21:41: Mohammed cartoons in Egypt
2006-02-09 20:46: Instigators of the Mohammed controversy


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