Ming the Mechanic:
Got any mind control weapons on special?

The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
 Got any mind control weapons on special?2006-04-05 22:59
picture by Flemming Funch

"Hello, I was wondering how I can buy one of the mind control devices on your website. I can't see how to put them in the shopping cart."

It was a lady calling me from England this afternoon. I was a little puzzled. Which website might that be? "Ming.tv" she said. Hmmm, I frantically search through my postings.... Aha, it turned out to be this article. A list of patents for rather horribly sounding devices for remote control of brainwaves, ultrasonic weapons, subliminal nervous system manipulators, and other goodies.

The lady wanted to put a couple of these in her shopping cart and check out with her visa card.

Which of these items might she specifically be interested in, I inquired. Well, she seemed to think the whole batch of them sounded rather nifty. Clearly a very motivated shopper.

Maybe she has a boyfriend who isn't quite behaving right? I didn't really succeed in figuring out what the driver was. I mean, you don't exactly pull out an ultrasonic brain wave modulator at a party, to start a fun conversation. Or do you? Is it something to have in your handbag, in case a little crowd control suddenly becomes necessary? You know, when a horde of flesh-eating zombies are charging you in the mall.

I patiently tried to explain that this was a list of patents on file at the U.S. Patent Office. Maybe somebody has made these, maybe not. If they have, it would be the kind of thing used by the military, to drive Iraqis crazy, or maybe by the police, for crowd control. Or maybe secret government agencies are using them on all of us, to make us Conform, Consume and Obey. But you wouldn't be likely to find them for sale to just anybody online.

She was a bit incredulous, and I had to explain it several times. She thought it was such a lovely idea, and she had a hard time wrapping her mind around the concept that there was no shopping cart and possibly no products. I didn't even bother to try to explain what a blog is.

I wished for a moment I did have some of these for sale. Maybe I could have thrown in a positronic deathray machine, and a few cannisters of nerve gas. I don't know how it is to be a housewife in West Sussex, but I'm always willing to help.

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5 Apr 2006 @ 23:02 by Taranga @ : Shopping with ming
It had to be this one she was interested in - you've no idea what goes on behind closed doors in Sus sex - Patent 6,051,594 - Methods and Formulations for Modulating the Human Sexual Response

Anycase how did she get your phone No?  

5 Apr 2006 @ 23:24 by i2i : Good story - lol
My brother used to be into the music distribution industry, mostly "New Age" music. "Pyramid Distributors" was the name of the company. It was at the time of "Inside the Great Pyramid" by Paul Horn and all the electronic stuff of the 70's. Anyway, he would occasionally get the strangest request too (well, his fault, you know, he did deal with some unusual products, like copper tubing pyramids that people who are into that stuff could experiment with - see if it made their wine taste better, or help keep their blade sharp, that kind of things, he would also carry those extra large pyramids, the kind you could assemble and fit over your bed.) One time, he got a call from a girl who asked whether he had any shrunken head available. I think he hasn't quite yet figured out to this day whether the girl was serious or whether she was putting him on, or being, you know, kind of "naughty."  

6 Apr 2006 @ 01:46 by jmarc : Business 101
See a need that and fill it. Something with some colourful flashing lights and some interesting buzzing sounds might fit the bill. Have you checked the Sharper Image catalog? They might have something.  

6 Apr 2006 @ 06:14 by mahendra : Mind machine
I have one very simple but effective.May be its simple so effective.....

Its a small device where u attach the walkman and listen to the effective music with the help of provided audios....on different subjects...only instrumation music..It has a eye googles which have small lightswhich are blinked by the music effect when put on eyes it takes to the Theta brain waves activation......
I am trying it from last 10 years....more effective more Enlightment.....


6 Apr 2006 @ 10:24 by ashanti : Hahahaha!
Now that is funny. I love the net. Someone in South Africa (me) discovers a list of mind control patents in a database listed on an illuminati website and posts a {link:http://www.newciv.org/mem/persnewslog.php?did=147&vid=147&xmode=show_article&artid=000147-000103&amode=standard&aoffset=0&time=1144319103|blog article} about it on 9 March 2005. Ming in France picks it up and posts it on his blog too, on 26 March 2005. He just leaves out the first item on the list I posted: "Patent 1,096,102 - The Hollow Earth Theory" (they *patented* the hollow earth theory, I thought that was quite amazing).

Then some woman from England thinks they are a list of items for sale, and contacts Ming in April 2006. Meanwhile, back in the USA, resides a list of patents for mind control.......

It's that hollow earth theory, I'm telling you!

Now THAT is what I call a feedback loop. :-)  

6 Apr 2006 @ 15:32 by ming : Mind patents
Ha, yeah, that's kind of weird. See what you started, Kim.

That they patented the Hollow Earth Theory is maybe the weirdest thing there, yes. I guess I left it out because it didn't fit the mind control theme.  

6 Apr 2006 @ 18:58 by Hanae @ : Mind control devices are real

They're all over. There might be one in you own living room, in your bedroom, even.

They are called {link:http://www.freepress.net/fakenews|Tellies}, aren't they?


6 Apr 2006 @ 19:55 by Hanae @ : More than 80 percent of the stations

snared in the investigation {link:http://www.freepress.net/fakenews|[link]} are owned by large conglomerates. A list of the worst offenders reads like a who’s who of big media, including stations owned by:

* Sinclair Broadcast Group
* Clear Channel Communications
* News Corp/Fox Television
* Viacom/CBS Corp
* Tribune Company

The evidence suggests a strong tie between media consolidation and the use of deceptive, pre-packaged propaganda.  

12 Apr 2006 @ 06:23 by FreedomBuilder @ : You were Crank Yanked!
Hey Flemming,
Sounds awefully like a crank yanker call in which you were dragged along in a lengthy, spoof, perhaps being recorded for later broadcast to the idle tv masses.

It happened to me once....but I don't think I ended up on TV. I must have told them to eff off too much :o)

12 Apr 2006 @ 23:37 by ming : Crank
Well, I considered it might be, but to the best of my judgement, she really meant it. If it had been a crank call, she could well have elaborated more on what she wanted to do with these devices, and that could have been funny alright.  

15 Apr 2006 @ 12:38 by ztin eht nesoohc eno @ : the world will end soon
people like this give me lack of hope of any kind of future. i mean dont get me wrong i tend to dwell in the dream side alot, but there is a difference between knowing what can happing and what needs to happen compared to, just getting off the set of startrek... maybe these people really do belive and if that is the case i wish everyone was as warped... peace out your friendly alien  

10 Sep 2006 @ 23:02 by GPS System @ : experience
Seeking counsel from elders seems to be a lost advantage. Experience usually translated into lessons learned that may contain pearls of wisdom that could have benefited the lost or struggling.  

8 Feb 2008 @ 15:38 by Anthony @ : man truth or don't say it
ha fuck man sick of all the bullshit ass holes telling bullshit story's lost all my fucking money on Sebastian Foss fuls emailing soft ware. don't trust that cunt if any body nos of real soft ware contact me pay money for real thing not bullshit I'm fucking sick of those bullshit scamers if you are a zata gray or a reptilian or a pleiaden pls help me out with real software real mind control devices not for harm but to mack a quick buck pls fucking help pls.businessbesanko@yahoo.com.au if a human........................ if an alien besankoalien@yahoo.com.au  

8 Feb 2008 @ 15:41 by anthony @ : tack of pls
email add rong  

8 Feb 2008 @ 15:44 by anthony besanko @ : a

23 Jun 2011 @ 11:36 by tahir @ : purchase mind control device
its really wondering to see and hear this technology.  

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Other stories in
2012-05-03 00:04: An evolving path
2012-01-02 13:52: 2011 Accomplishments and 2012 Aims
2011-11-17 02:20: Your inner piece
2011-02-01 00:05: Slow Mo Flow
2011-01-22 18:40: Recognition
2010-08-23 00:36: Where's Ming?
2010-07-20 14:24: Getting other people to do stuff
2010-06-22 00:27: Inventory
2010-06-19 23:10: Conversations
2009-10-28 12:31: Then a miracle occurs

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