| Sunday, August 24, 2003 |  |
| Books about Moving to France |
 Below is a list of books that I found useful in preparing to move to France, and figuring out what to do. Just to put it in one place for others to find who might be in the same situation.
There's a lot one can learn in advance by studying. But, well, not everything. Reading books can provide a good foundation, but there will always be things one won't know before one arrives at one's new destination. And books don't necessarily tell the right story either. We were maybe over-prepared in terms of having studied how French people think differently, and how they have different norms for behavior, different patterns of doing things, and different motivations. Well, they do, if we stereotype it. But the books had prepared us for a bunch of difficulties which we didn't particularly find to exist when we got here. It wasn't nearly as bad as it was laid out to be. It wasn't such a great problem to just be yourself and do what seemed natural. The stereotype is that French people are very private, and suspicious of strangers. Well, yes, they have a different rhythm in how they get to know people, but it isn't a big problem, and many people are very open to others right away. Some pieces of information were mainly met with laughter when we asked people if it were true. Like, when you're invited to somebody's home, even for a five hour dinner party, don't ever expect to be able to use the bathroom, as your hosts would be shocked, and they probably hadn't even cleaned it. So you'd better go to the bathroom just before you arrive, and you better find some bushes right after you leave. We didn't find anybody who had even heard of such customs. I dont' know, maybe that's how it used to be in Paris 30 years ago. But it doesn't seem to apply to us. France is a big country and many things are probably different amongst the different regions. We're in Toulouse in the Haute-Garonne department in the Midi-Pyrenees region, South-Western France, just above Spain. This is a relaxed and friendly place, accepting of foreigners, and not appearing to have any terribly strict norms for behavior that we're likely to violate all the time. You say "bonjour" to people when you meet them, and "au revoir" when you leave. If you can manage that, you're already doing fine. People here tend towards a negative opinion of Parisians, as being more snobbish, rude and cold. I don't know if that fits, as I haven't met anything but nice Parisians either. But maybe all those rules and warnings might be more appropriate to know in Paris, and not here. ... [ Diary | 2003-08-24 15:42 | 5 comments | PermaLink ] More > |