by Flemming Funch
Tim Bray sat in an airport and studied how people hug or not. Somehow I find that interesting too.- People who are culturally non-huggers suffer for it; you will see what looks like a reunion after long separation between a grown daughter and a grown mother, and they will stand face to face, eyes full of tears, and almost quiver it seems.
- Non-hugger displacement activity includes reaching out to touch the other only for a moment, and quickly turning to walk side-by-side.
- Some groups cheek-kiss, one side then the other, the number of kisses can be two, three or even four, and there seems no doubt or hesitancy how many there will be.
- Japanese people and those who meet them bow of course; those who’ve spent any time in Japan won’t be surprised at how many shades of meaning and style can infuse a bow.
- Some stories are sad, the few people who come out obviously expecting to be met but aren’t.
- Women coming to meet someone invest more effort than men in their preparations; flowers, dress, make-up. You can guess by looking at them whether they’re waiting for a lover, a colleague, or a sister, but sometimes you guess wrong.
- The women also hug more expressively, with (perhaps unconscious) thought going into the placement of arms, torso and especially hips.
- Only the waiting ones, though, people incoming to Vancouver have usually come a long way (it’s a big country and the Pacific’s a big ocean), the people being greeted, young and old, man and woman, tend to droop into the hugs they get, with smiles but a kind of blank expression.
I like really close hugs with people I like. I didn't always. I never hugged anybody when I was a teenager. I was, like, 30 before I hugged a man. And for the longest time I was nervously wondering where I should put my hips and how long the hug should last. Nowadays I know nothing much better than a close hug with a new friend who finds it equally enjoyable.
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