Ming the Mechanic:
Types of hugs

The NewsLog of Flemming Funch
 Types of hugs2003-06-17 19:23
by Flemming Funch

Tim Bray sat in an airport and studied how people hug or not. Somehow I find that interesting too.
  • People who are culturally non-huggers suffer for it; you will see what looks like a reunion after long separation between a grown daughter and a grown mother, and they will stand face to face, eyes full of tears, and almost quiver it seems.
  • Non-hugger displacement activity includes reaching out to touch the other only for a moment, and quickly turning to walk side-by-side.
  • Some groups cheek-kiss, one side then the other, the number of kisses can be two, three or even four, and there seems no doubt or hesitancy how many there will be.
  • Japanese people and those who meet them bow of course; those who’ve spent any time in Japan won’t be surprised at how many shades of meaning and style can infuse a bow.
  • Some stories are sad, the few people who come out obviously expecting to be met but aren’t.
  • Women coming to meet someone invest more effort than men in their preparations; flowers, dress, make-up. You can guess by looking at them whether they’re waiting for a lover, a colleague, or a sister, but sometimes you guess wrong.
  • The women also hug more expressively, with (perhaps unconscious) thought going into the placement of arms, torso and especially hips.
  • Only the waiting ones, though, people incoming to Vancouver have usually come a long way (it’s a big country and the Pacific’s a big ocean), the people being greeted, young and old, man and woman, tend to droop into the hugs they get, with smiles but a kind of blank expression.
I like really close hugs with people I like. I didn't always. I never hugged anybody when I was a teenager. I was, like, 30 before I hugged a man. And for the longest time I was nervously wondering where I should put my hips and how long the hug should last. Nowadays I know nothing much better than a close hug with a new friend who finds it equally enjoyable.

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18 Jun 2003 @ 04:52 by shawa : Kisses
In Switzerland you kiss three times; in France, three, sometimes four; in Spain two.
I just hate to go into a room where you have to kiss every stranger four times! And I always forget how many kisses and where, the huggee must tell me, hehehe, we´re in France, so four times!! Muack-Muack-Muack-Muack.
You may kiss the air, though, which makes the whole process lighter!

18 Jun 2003 @ 06:30 by martha : hugs
I don't think we do enough hugging and touching in this country. I grew up with a mom who doesn't like to hug (unless a baby) and it took a few years as an adult to realize I'm just like my dad. Love to hug now and kiss. People do hug differently and those that don't like it break the embrace quickly. Touching loved ones is undervalues in this country.  

14 Apr 2004 @ 04:38 by joe @ : muack
Hi I have been searching for the meaning of this word and which language it is from.So,sorry to bother but can you help.


7 Jul 2005 @ 03:22 by cs @ : hugs
here in oklahoma, There are ladies at church who hug anything that walks through the door. I am a big-time hello-hugger. I have a friend who offers warm good-bye hugs, though i wondered how "sincere" the hug was. what do you think? do you ever question if a hug is sincere, or do you just enjoy it  

24 Dec 2006 @ 18:12 by Kathy @ : hugs
I hugged my boss last night...as a good bye since we went on winter break and to wish him happy holidays. Well, his hug was TErRIBLE!! So, I decided to search the meaning of hugs....my conclusion: the guy is a non hugger! (He gave me the side of his torso to hug!) I also have a second conclusion: he is only a good hugger after a couple of beers....lol.  

11 Mar 2007 @ 02:00 by weston @ : kisses
Here in Ecuador, from what I understand, the two-cheek kiss was instituted about 10 years ago. It goes woman to woman and man to woman, but never man to man. It's used as a greeting, though I'm pretty sure I've seen it with a farewell, too. I've just met people, and after talking with them for maybe five minutes, they've expected kisses goodbye.

11 Mar 2007 @ 13:29 by ming : Kisses
Interesting how customs like that emerge. I seem to be seeing more people in different countries adopting the two-cheek kissing greeting, even if that hasn't been the custom before.

When I first noticed that greeting (amongst Swiss people), I sort of adopted the stance that it was too complicated for me, and just something they'd do amongst themselves. And I'd use my California style hugs instead, if it was somebody I knew.

When I came to France, I at first mistakenly assumed that everybody did the kisses, and did it with all women I met. Took me a while to realize that this isn't really appropriate. In a professional setting, one would normally shake somebody's hand, unless one has met a few times.

Kissing men on the cheek, I'm not sure if I'll ever feel right about adopting that. But it is a matter of what one is used to of course. I didn't a man before I was 30, but now that feels perfectly normal. Not for the French, for sure, but if I were in California, I'd be hugging everybody.  

4 Mar 2008 @ 18:01 by Oc @ : types of hugging
Well i read a lot of stories and comments on different types of hugging and how we need them and how they may help us in many ways. But on the other hand, I think we need to control the way we hug the opposite sex especially non family members or close friends. In short, when you are in a relationship, either party should be careful on how they hug someone the use to be sexual or intimate with at one point. My girlfriend hugged a guy she use to be intimate with in front of me, well I walked to the bar to get her a drink and I saw them hugging, and I was watching and she hugged him like she would hug me and thought that was really inappropriate to do so. She commented me on I just hugged two co-workers in front of her and the way i hugged them in my eyes is the way friends hud and also the way I hug the opposite se, Which is I lean forward not to give as less body contact as possible as well as giving them the half body hug with one arm where our shoulders barely touch and immediately let go. But she hugged her ex boy friend with a full frontal hug with her arm around his neck and his arm in her lower back with their faces touching and it lasted for at least thirty seconds. I was totally upset because I don't beleive it should be that much body contact, unless they are together still etc... i dont know if im overreacting, but I know there are a lot of people who agree with me on the way she hugged him. But the real killer is that we both ran into him before at the grocery store, but at the time I stayed in the car and she went in and she called me from the checkout line saying she just wanted me on the phone with her because she see a person she used to be with and she dont want to really talk to him and wanted to avoid him. She was telling me this while it was happening that he ws staring at her and keep trying to talk to her by saying do I know you. I heard her reply and say hello, then she say she's coming out, then she was walking fast toward the car and he followed and watched her get in and drove on side of us but in the next drive lane looking at us. She said then that she only said hello and walked out and she wanted to avoid him, but now we are at the bar where i work and now she wnts to HUG him and talk, thats why I'm so upset still about it, but she don't see why I am. Am I wrong and overreacting or what? someone please shed some lightan this and please send all comments or replys to my email address and title it types og hugging!  

25 Jun 2010 @ 03:57 by Kaye @ : Hugging? Is this friendly or not?
A man I've known for years hugged me this past week before leaving out of town for a bit. We have a strictly platonic relationship. He has hugged me from time to time and it's not a big deal. However, this time, as the hug ended, his hands came down and grasped my hands quickly. I was little "taken back". It just seemed more intimate then it should have and bothered me. Any advice?  

25 Jun 2010 @ 13:58 by ming : Hugging
As it says above, it very much depends on your culture and what is normal and accepted. When I lived in California, I'd certainly do hugs like that once in a while. Yes, it shows either more intimacy or simply an attempt to demonstrate more friendliness than the hug did. You know, if you're used to a certain type of hug, this would send an extra message. Which might just be: I'm going away for a while, and I like you. But, yes, if it steps over a boundary for the other person, it isn't good. A hug is an interactive thing, where one has to pay attention to the feedback.  

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